I Have Not Given You a Spirit of Fear

My mom was a worrying, fearful person. She never took risks. Wouldn't try anything new. Didn't want to go any place she'd never been before (well, maybe a new restaurant or shopping mall). If she was visiting family, she insisted on returning home within an hour or two after arriving.

Because of her fear of unfamiliar situations, she didn't come to my induction into the National
Honor Society during my junior year in high school. Everyone else had one or both parents attending. No one came for me. My father was dead and my mother later pleaded some imagined malady, something she frequently did to avoid unknown situations.

My Mom did not attend my wedding. I lived across the country by then, and although my sister and her husband flew out and would have traveled with her every step of the way, she would not fly. When each of my four children were born, she still did not come to visit. I lived 3,000 miles away from her for 13 years but she never visited.

In my heart I forgave her for her unwillingness to try and step out of her comfort zone, to be there for me for many of the special moments in my life. Most of all, after years passed and I realized she wouldn't change, I felt so sorry for her - all those missed opportunities and the fun and excitement new experiences bring were lost to her.

Aside from the damage her fear of the unknown caused her, that fear also infected my sister, brother, and me. None of us is a risk taker and we walk through life very cautiously.

While I didn't have an epiphany, I experienced a growing realization over the past 10 or 15 years that I was letting my anxieties and worries over the maybes and might bes rule my life. I was becoming my mother.

A Bible verse instrumental in my climb out of the fear and worry pit is from 2 Timothy 1:7, "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." The spirit of FEAR is NOT from God. God gave me power, love, and a sound mind.

I do not have to let worry, uncertainty, and fear of the unknown rule over me, I have power. God said so. Constantly, I have to remind myself that stepping out into the unknown is good. No, I cannot control the world. Yes, bad things will happen sometimes. But God Is In Control. Nothing is going to happen to me that He doesn't already know about. He loves me. He will take care of me. Even if tragedy strikes, He will hold me up. I don't have to be afraid.

Freedom from fear, worrying, concern over change, the unknown, and all those other little demons that robbed my mother of a full life are not going to rob me. I choose to trust God and take Him at His word when He says I don't have to fear.

Image: Master isolated images/freedigitalphotos.net

If You Were Stranded . . .

. . . on a deserted island, what book or books would you want to have stashed in your survival
pack?

Being a smart-aleck, I'd say, "I would have my Kindle with dozens of books loaded on it." Poor idea. No electricity on a deserted island.

What has enough oomph to keep me mentally engaged, challenged, and  entertained for who knows how many years?

Pick number one would be the Bible. The contents are meaty enough to chew on for a lifetime. If I couldn't have the entire Bible, I would choose Psalms, Isaiah, and Philippians. Psalms because it teaches me how to pray and praise. It comforts me when I am distressed and overwhelmed. Isaiah because it assures me that what God promises and prophesies always comes to fruition. It plainly outlines that evil will be punished. It reminds me that He will return. And it is long - lots of reading material to while away the day. Philippians because it is a book of love and encouragement. Whenever I read it, I feel soothed, encouraged, and loved by God.

A second pick would be anything by C.S. Lewis. His thought processes, logic, and huge intellect are mind bending. Even a short book by Lewis takes me forever to read because each sentence is packed with layers of meaning.

Because my survival pack has to be stuffed with essentials other than books, there probably wouldn't be room for any more, but if I had a verrry large pack, I would want to include Jan Karon's Mitford and Father Tim books. I've read through the series two or three times and never tire of them. Books filled with genuine, fallible characters who choose to love each other, despite being frustrated by each other, are inspirational. Besides, if I were all alone, they would feel like my friends and neighbors.

Oh, and I'd want to have my reading glasses.

What would be your pick? Fiction or non-fiction? Fantasy? Inspirational? Romance?


Image: adamr/freedigitalphotos.net

A Pebble in My Shoe

In July, a friend and I challenged each other to make a concerted effort to try and take every thought captive as Paul says we should do in 2 Corinthians 10:5. Specifically, he says, "We should demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Although our week-long challenge has been over for a while, she and I continue to learn about the importance of this Biblical admonition. Here is an email my friend sent earlier this week illustrating the importance of taking every thought captive.

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"I wanted to share something with you that has to do with taking every thought captive.  As I was walking this morning, a tiny, tiny pebble popped into my shoe.  I could have stopped walking for a moment and fished out the pebble without taking off my shoe.  However, I decided that the pebble was small enough not to be a problem.  

"Within seconds, however, the pebble had moved down my ankle bone and was making itself known with a tiny little pain.  I kept walking, and, sure enough, the pebble found its way to the bottom of my foot, so that with every step I experienced a sharp pain.  Still, though, I wouldn’t stop to remove it.  

"A few seconds later the pebble jiggled around and landed where I could not feel it.  Ahh, I thought, now I can finish my walk without that little pain.  However, you guessed it, the pebble moved back to the spot that caused me pain.  Finally I stopped, sat down on the curb, removed my shoe, removed the pebble, put on my shoe, and resumed my walk.  

"I was reminded of those thoughts that I should take captive.  Those thoughts need to be taken care of right away.  I need to be aware of them and then stop and remove them, even if I have to quit walking.  Otherwise, I will experience sharp little pains that make my walk painful."

A beautiful illustration about how not taking every thought captive can hinder our walk with God. 

Next week I'll share some of the insights I have been gleaning from the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit about those sinful thoughts that I am trying to learn to halt in their tracks.

Sunflower Wednesday Hodgepodge

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August and sunflowers and county fairs are linked in my mind. I think of this as the second part of summer. July 4th is long gone, flower and vegetable gardens are starting to look a little tired and hot, and although autumn is still many weeks away, heat-weary trees are dropping a few yellow leaves here and there foreshadowing the coming season. So let's squeeze the most out of the rest of the summer with Joyce's questions this week From This Side of the Pond.

1. My daughter earned her Master's Degree this past weekend...what's something you've 'mastered' in recent weeks or months?
Procrastination. Oh, no, actually I mastered that years ago.
I can't think of anything I've mastered recently. That means I'd better get busy because I hate to look back at the end of a year and realize I haven't learned how to do something new.

2. What song most reminds you of your childhood?
My Baby Does the Hanky Panky by Tommy James and the Shondells. I remember dancing around the kitchen as a little girl waving around one of my fancy, little handerchiefs (my relatives always used to give them to me for gifts. Who knows why?) and dancing. I was quite the little showoff who obviously didn't know what hanky panky was all about.

3. What do you think about single gender groups and/or events? Should everygroup/event be open to both genders?  If not, what sort of exceptions do you think are appropriate?
Nothing wrong with single gender gatherings in my book. It would be awkward attending a bridal lingerie shower with a man in the room, ya know?

4. What's your favorite spice? Your favorite dish containing your favorite spice?
Cilantro! It tastes and smells so fresh. I like it in almost any Mexican food dish, especially recipes that contain black beans.

5.  I saw this question on Marla's facebook page and asked if I could steal borrow it for the Hodgepodge...thanks Marla!  
Chevron patterns are everywhere!  Do you like it or think its just a little too much? Do you own anything 'chevron'? 
I don't own anything with a chevron pattern and feel quite neutral about it.

6.  What's something you disliked as a child, but can fully appreciate now?
I despised squash to the point where I gagged when I ate it; however, I absolutely love it now.

7. What can irritate you very quickly?
Little repetitious noises, like someone drumming their fingers, drive me up the wall.

8.  Insert your own random thought here
I broke our air conditioning system by fiddling with the temp too much (what can I say, I was vacuuming and got really hot). We have been without since Friday. Fortunately, the repairman is scheduled to come today. We are blessed because although it has been hot and humid, it hasn't been miserably hot and horribly humid.

A Little Bit of Lace

I'm not quite sure what my problem was. I had this little ebook from Love of Knitting to review but kept forgetting about it.

So, finally, I took a peek at Love of Knitting ebook 3, Learn to Knit Lace, and was delighted. As a nervous lace knitter (I make a lot of mistakes with lace, all those yarn overs that I keep losing), I was happy to see patterns that use larger-gauged yarn. That fine lace-weight makes me bug-eyed and tense. It's like knitting with spider web silk!

Learn to Knit Lace features three great patterns, a cowl-neck summer top with a lacy bottom half, a shawl with a beautiful lily of the valley design, and a non-lacy lace pillowcase edging. The pillowcase edging might seem a bit old school and girly girly, but the pattern, designed by Amy Polcyn, looks clean and contemporary, not something at which a guy would roll his eyes.

I bought a new set of sheets last month and am thinking I might smarten them up a bit by knitting some Lace Linen Trim, a handy take-along project on car trips or while waiting at the DMV (because you know how long that can take).

If you love to knit like I do, and are  up for a bit of a challenge, you should enjoy Learn to Knit Lace. It is currently available as a free download at the Love of Knitting website.




Love of Knitting provided this ebook for review at no charge. All opinions stated are my own.

One Glorious Ambition

Yes, one glorious ambition, but what is it?  That is what Dorothea Dix wondered for many years until she discovered her calling among "the least of these" as she called them. Dix was instrumental in raising public awareness about the poor treatment of the mentally handicapped in the U.S., and eventually Europe, in the 1800s.

In Jane Kirkpatrick's book One Glorious Ambition: The Compassionate Crusade of Dorothea Dix, we are immersed in the mind and heart of Dix, a woman who never felt like she accomplished enough. Kirkpatrick blends fact and fiction to tell us about a woman who was a successful teacher, actually running her own school, and published author by the age of 20. She went on to become the friend of politicians and presidents as she worked tirelessly to relieve the suffering of the mentally ill.

Dix's father was abusive, her mother probably suffered from some form of mental illness, and Dix tried her best as a child to nurture her two younger brothers. Her father's family was wealthy and well-regarded, but he was estranged from them so Dorothea's family lived in poverty. These early influences formed Dix into the woman she became. A woman searching for a loving family to accept her as she was. A woman who needed to succeed because she felt she failed to rescue her brothers from their difficult childhood. A woman who needed to keep moving, keep striving like a "spinning top" and never stop because she was afraid if she stopped and thought for too long, she might become mentally ill like her mother.

The book was painful to read at times. Dix's desire to acquire family leads her to behave awkwardly and strive too hard, which resulted in people pushing her away. When after a struggle of many years the mental health bill she wrote and tried to help pass into law failed, Dix felt like she failed. She took the loss personally, almost as a rejection of her.

Dix appears to be a woman who knew and loved God, but did she trust Him and rely on Him to accomplish His will in His way? I don't think so. Her drive, persistence, and stubbornness, which were instrumental in achieving the wonderful breakthroughs in the care of the mentally needy that occurred in her lifetime, were also her worst enemies. She was unable to compromise or see another's point of view. She felt her goals needed to be achieved her way, and her way only.

Looking at the book's cover, you might expect a light, enjoyable semi-biographical novel, but that is not the case. The book paints a true picture of a dedicated woman with great gifts and great flaws.

One Glorious Ambition: The Compassionate Crusade of Dorothea Dix by Jane Kirkpatrick
WaterBrook Press, 2013
Fiction/Historical, 382 pages

WaterBrook Press provided a free copy of this book for review. The opinions stated are my own. 

Peaches and Beaches at the Wednesday Hodgepodge

Happy Wednesday everyone! Isn't Wednesday a great day of the week? Monday is a distant memory and Friday is within sight. Come join me and lots of other fun people at Joyce's place, From This Side of the Pond for the latest installment of Wednesday Hodgepodge.

1. The first week of August is National Simplify Your Life Week...what's one thing you could do this week to qualify as a participant?
That's easy, toss out most of my clothes and then move into a tent. Seriously, I continually re-examine my life and surroundings in the desire to declutter and simplify my life. I am always thrilled to add one more item to my ever-present bag of donations.

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2. It's also National Peach Month...peach pie, peach cobbler, or please pour me a Bellini?  What's your peach pleasure?
My peach pleasure is fresh and juicy right off the tree.

3. Eleanor Roosevelt once wrote, "Do one thing every day that scares you." Agree or disagree...explain.
I think this is a great piece of advice. Overcoming fears and challenging ourselves to try something new are great ways to grow.

4. What's your favorite household chore?  Yes-you have to name one.

I would have to say cleaning the bathrooms. They're small so they don't take too much time, and there is a sense of instant gratification because they shine and smell so fresh when you've finished.

5. Fodors recently listed (what they've dubbed) the ten most beautiful sunset spots in America. Click here to read more and see the pretty pictures, but this is their list:

Butterfly Beach in Santa Barbara, CA, Mount Haleakala in Maui HI, Old Fort Marcy Park in Santa Fe NM, Laguna Beach CA, Hopi Point in Grand Canyon AZ, Four Seasons in Miami FL, Santa Monica Pier in Santa Monica CA, Gay Head in Martha's Vineyard MA, Ensign Peak in Salt Lake City UT, and Mallory Square in Key West Florida.

Have you seen the sun set from any of these spots?  If you could choose to watch the sun set this weekend from one spot on the Fodors List, which would you choose?  Where was the prettiest sunset you've ever seen?
Unfortunately, I've never seen the sunset at any of these places - although we used to live fairly near Butterfly Beach. I would choose to see the sunset there because I love Santa Barbara, CA. I don't remember the prettiest sunset I've ever seen, but saw many incredible sunsets at the beach when we lived in Ventura, CA.

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6. What's your favorite or most used app?  If you don't use apps how about your favorite or most visited website?
Call me a weather geek if you must, but my favorite is the Accuweather app.

7. We've recently passed the halfway mark for 2013...write a seven word sentence that sums up your year thus far. 
2013, an ongoing whirlwind roller coaster ride.

8.  Insert your own random thought here.
My 19 year old son went in for allergy testing yesterday and is apparently allergic to everything. I think I am going to get the Worst Mother of the Decade Award for not taking him to an allergist sooner.

Summer Madness

The month of May moved at an enjoyably slow pace, lots to do, but lots of relaxation as well. June passed like an out of control freight train. And July? We'll have to see whether the time drifts like a slow, lazy river or like a madly, rushing torrent.

I'm a sporadic goal setter, occasionally on fire and on target with my plans. Without actually intending to, I have set up a painting goal this summer. It all started with my daughter getting married and moving out. We decided to make her bedroom into an art studio for my husband. Since her possessions were (mostly) out of her bedroom it seemed like a great time to paint and put in new flooring.

That's when I got this crazy idea of painting this summer. The amusing part is that I don't

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really like painting, but my poor beleaguered husband has many other home and car repairs keeping him busy so I felt guilty asking him to take on painting as well. Not only is he a fine landscape painter, but he's great at painting walls too.

One of my sons has been unable to find a summer job so far, therefore, I figured I had built-in, free labor. He and I have turned out to be a decent painting team. We have finished two bedrooms and one closet. The to-do list includes the kitchen, another bedroom, three (possibly four) closets, and the baseboards and chair rails in the dining room, living room, and hall.

An ambitious project for a non-painting, ambivalent goal setter. It's amazing what you can accomplish when you just jump in and get started.

In the meantime, the front and side gardens are full of flowers and weeds and our former vegetable garden (which may be one again next year) is rampant with everything but vegetables. You just can't get to everything, you know?

While the photo illustrating my paint-a-thon, isn't my own. it's a great representation of what my home looks like. It would never occur to me to take pictures of painting-work-in-progress. Probably because my hands are always covered in paint.

First World Problems

The concept of being a First World Nation and what we view as our problems and challenges came up at the dinner table last week.

I was vaguely familiar with term, and after doing some research leaned that it actually harkens back to the Cold War Era and referred to the countries allied with the United States during that time. The term now refers to nations that possess highly developed societies, are capitalistic in nature, industrialized, influential, and prosperous. (For more information on which countries are included and various related statistics check here.)

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We all know that Third World Nations generally deal with problems of poverty, low standard of living, governmental and/or religious oppression, lack of educational and employment opportunities, and many other issues. Their problems are often as critical as insufficient water and food and fear for their lives since many of their nations suffer from wars and political oppression.

But what are problems First World Nations encounter and how do they differ from Third World problems?

• Suffering from obesity rather than starvation
• Looking in a closet packed with clothing and whining about nothing to wear as opposed to owning only the clothes covering your body
• Complaining about the long line at the DMV instead of never even imagining owning a car
• Huffing and puffing over a slow wi-fi connection while our Third World brothers and sisters have their internet blocked by the government, or they can't afford a computer, or they are illiterate.

Do you see the disconnect? We "suffer" from abundance while they suffer from want. If you're anything like me, you're going to start thinking twice before complaining about your Starbucks order being wrong or the grocery store being out of your favorite brand of cereal.

We need a transition in our thinking. We need a revival of gratitude, appreciation and thankfulness - and giving. We need to give more, demand less, and keep our perspective straight.

Look not every man on his own things, but every man also on the things of others. Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus. - Phil 2:4,5 (KJV)

Bouncing Back Up

Kids aren't afraid to fall. They do it all the time.

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Wobbling toddler on fat little legs tumbles and tumbles again, but rises up to try once more. Walking the plank like a pirate, down he goes in the make believe sea, but swims to shore and walks the plank again. Daredevil motorcyclist flies down the hill and over the handlebars of her two-wheeler. A few bumps scrapes and tears, but she bikes back up the hill undefeated.

Where can we learn as many life lessons as from the examples children set us? Before the sense of mortality comes upon them, they are brave, invincible. No defeat is too overwhelming. No loss can't be recoverable. No fall keeps them on the ground. Their determination and optimism break through the clouds of discouragement, and what ifs, and I can'ts.

Maybe this is yet another way Jesus wants us to be like little children.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.

This 'n That

The hills are alive with the sound of . . . cicadas. If you live on the east coast, you know what I mean. The 17 year cicadas woke up a few weeks ago leaving holes in the ground; dozens of disgusting carcasses (shells? casings? larva?) littering the deck, sidewalk, lawn, etc., and filling the air with an incessant buzzing. They almost drown out the sound of all my neighbors' lawn mowers!

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My next door neighbor has tons more cicadas than we do. Who knows why? But my poor hydrangea bush, relocated from the side garden to the front garden earlier this spring, looks horrible. These very large, red-eyed pests seem partial to some shrubbery while ignoring the rest.

Speaking of pests, I am on the lookout for ants. They have invaded my kitchen annually for the last several years and while we've had some individual sightings, no large infestation yet. Another reason why we are delighted to have had such a long, cool spring. (You will notice that I did not use any bug pictures, ugh.)

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My three sons have been home for a couple of weeks for their summer breaks and it is back to buying three gallons of milk per week. A small price to pay for their company. Looking for jobs and low-priced cars are on some of their agendas. 

Summer cooking is always a challenge. I avoid using the stove and oven, and grilled food starts to taste the same after a while, so I frequently prepare cold dishes. Because I'm always on the lookout for something new, please share any and all of your favorite summer main dishes with me. Please, please, please?

Tomorrow will start a string of hot, humid days in the 90s, so I baked five loaves of bread this morning keeping out one and freezing the other four. They came out looking beautiful, which is rewarding since my last few batches were mediocre. Again, who knows why?

Since I use my slow cooker all year long (sometimes putting it outside in the summer), I started dinner while my bread was baking. And in a Transitional-Woman first, I'd love to share a recipe provided by my friend Jodi in Indiana. It doesn't look very pretty, but everyone loves it and I've substituted all over the place when I have run out of one of the five ingredients (don't you love it already, only five ingredients).

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1. Take frozen chicken breasts (or thighs, boneless is easier, but bone-in works too), however many you want and put in your slow cooker.

2. Pour a jar of salsa over the chicken (I have used diced or stewed tomatoes when I've run out of salsa, but add some spicy seasonings if you do this).

3. Drain and rinse a can or two of black beans (depends on how many breasts you cook, can also use kidney beans or any of your favorite beans) and toss in.

4. Cook on high about 4 hours or low about 7.

5. Use two forks (it's easier to use big meat forks) and shred the chicken (now you know why boneless chicken works better).

6. Chop up an 8 ounce package of cream cheese (I use low fat) and mix into the pot (I have also used low fat sour cream instead).

7. Add about 8 ounces of frozen corn or a can of corn and mix.

8. Cook for 20-30 more minutes.

9. Serve over rice (brown is better for you :) ).

10. Make a green salad and you've got a great dinner. The leftovers are lovely too.

That's enough this 'n that from me for one day. What have you been up to?

I Don't Wanna

Generally, I am game to learn, or at least try, most things. But the other day I started thinking about things I don't want to learn. Some because they seem like too much work, others because I am afraid, still others because they appear pointless to me.

Here's a short list of things I don't want to, or plan to, learn.

• Drive a manual transmission

  

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• Hunt and gut a deer
• Make a good pie crust
• Go white water rafting
• Rebuild a car engine
• Calculus
• Eat neatly with chopsticks
• Play an instrument
• Chinese
• Enjoy reality TV
• Create a YouTube video
• Twitter.

That's me. What about you? Anything you don't want to learn?

Reflections on Commitment

Another year of the A-Z April Blog Challenge has come and gone. In 2012, I signed up mere days before the Challenge began. In 2013, well, I knew it was coming and signed up quite quickly when the list opened up.

After 2012's scramble for topics, I figured I would try to be on top of it in 2013, have a great theme developed and all my posts written and scheduled in advance. After all, I had 11 months to get ready.

You already see where this is going don't you?

I certainly thought about themes and noodled various ideas in my brain, but couldn't seem to settle on just the right idea. In the end, since I mostly write about transitions, I thought I should just stick with my blog's focus and go from there.

So May, June, July, August, and all of autumn and winter fly by. In those months from May 2012 to March 31, 2013, I finished 17 years of homeschooling,  helped two sons with the college application process, did all that it takes to help them go away to college for the first time, started a business, our daughter got married, family visited, worked a temporary job the first half of April, continued home remodeling (okay, my husband mostly did that part), and on and on. Not one post was written in all those months.

But, I made a commitment. I made a commitment to myself and the hosts of the Challenge that I would publish 26 posts in April, no matter what. Who would have thought so much would happen during the past year?

And procrastination. Who would have imagined I could manage to procrastinate over writing those 26 blog posts for a year?  (No laughing allowed.) I almost skipped a few days, I almost gave it up entirely a couple of times, but I made a commitment. I wasn't happy about the quality of some of the posts, but I published them with a mental apology to anyone who read them.

I love the A-Z Challenge. I enjoy reading other bloggers and seeing what they come up with for those 26 days. A large number of you were winging it, just like me. Thanks for that, it was a huge encouragement to know I wasn't the only one. I felt like we were ship wreck survivors hanging onto the life raft together.

2014 will see me making the commitment to write 26 April posts again, a challenge for a blogger who generally posts two or three times a week. Congratulations to all of us who take up a challenge and stick to it, no matter how painful.

Olympic Fever

Are you as addicted to the Summer Olympics as I am?  I don't know what it is, but once I begin watching, I cannot tear myself away.

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My favorite event so far is two on two volley ball.  I love it!  Because I normally watch in the evening, I've mainly seen swimming, diving and gymnastics competitions.  It's been exciting to watch world records broken and the beaming smiles on the winners' faces.  Their commitment and passion makes me want to dedicate myself to a sport and be a winner too.

Then I remembered the Senior Olympics.  Several months ago a friend of mine said she was interested in competing in the Senior Olympics but I thought she was joking.  I didn't even know they existed.

So, of course in the midst of my Olympic fever, I googled the Senior Olympics last night.  Sure enough the Senior Olympics does exist and no, it's not just for senior citizens, vibrant people in the prime of their life 50 years and older can be Senior Olympians.

Here's my chance, I thought and began scanning the list of events.  Since I've done some weight training at the gym I figured that might work for me, but sadly, there are no weight lifting categories for the Seniors.

This was a quandary.   I'm not particularly athletic and haven't pursued any real sport throughout my life.  But I examined the list hopefully.

Golf?  No, I've never picked up a golf club except for miniature golf and I've never shown any particular talent for that.

Swimming?  No, not that.  When I was a little girl at a family picnic one of my uncles dunked me in a lake.  I couldn't swim and swallowed gallons of water.  Never quite gotten over my fear of the water, so swimming is a no go.

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Archery?  Definitely not.  Tried it in college for a required P.E. credit because I virtuously believed I should try something I'd never done before.  The only other P.E. class available in that time slot was badminton, which I could play fairly well.  Unfortunately, I showed no ability in archery whatsoever.   I took the class the last semester of my senior year and as the weeks rolled by it looked like I was going to fail the class because I couldn't hit a bulls eye.

My prof worked with me and we tried every trick in her bag of archery tricks.  Nothing worked.  I couldn't even hit the target most of the time.  Was I going to miss my university graduation because I'd failed archery?  Oh, the humiliation.  I spoke to my professor and begged her to pass me.  A D-grade was fine, I didn't care, I just needed to pass.  I have never ceased to remember her with deep gratitude.  She gave me a C.

So, anyway, archery was out of the question too.

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I finally narrowed down the choices.  I could try cycling, but I'll need to buy a bike first and then train.  Because although I can't swim, I do know how to ride a bike.

Pickle ball was another option, but what the heck is pickle ball?  Googled that, too.  Apparently it's like badminton but played with ping pong kind of paddles and a ball like a wiffle ball and a net.  That might work, but who would I practice with?  And where?  And how would we learn to play?  So maybe not pickle ball.

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Then I saw it.  My old friend badminton.  It seems like a pathetic choice.   I had visions of my toned body and strong muscles wowing the spectators, but unless the rules of badminton have changed dramatically, there's no way I'll be showing off much athletic prowess in that competition.

I might have to rethink my Senior Olympics plan, but darn!  I really want to visit Cleveland and that's where the games will be played in 2013.

Mirror, Mirror ...

Today we have a special guest, my friend Lynden from An Elegant Touch, with a unique transitions post. 

Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He, I am He who will sustain you.

I have made you and I will carry you, I will sustain you and I will rescue you.

Isaiah 46:4

“Mirror, Mirror, on the wall –
      Where’s the Young Woman who had such Great Hope for it all?...”

When was it that she had walked through That Door?

You know – That Door that led from the busy-every-single-moment-of

      every-single-day –cooking-baking-cleaning, piles-of-laundry, 

            never-ending-yard-work, monitoring-homework-and-chores – 

      constant-chatter-and-laughter-of children -

      showing-guidance, teaching-values, loving-more-than-life Door -

      That Door that led from that wonderful, hope-filled, comfortable,
            fulfilling place of Then – 

                  to this place of Now…

This place of empty, quiet, alone, unneeded, unwanted, uncared-about and

       uncared-for –

      This place that might be for Others, but not HER –
      For those who had not cared-enough, tried-hard-enough, done-enough,
            loved-enough…
      But SHE had. And more.

So she had never expected to go through That Door – from vibrant living to not ‘living’ at all.
      Merely existing. Watching. Waiting. Wondering.
      Wondering how SHE had walked through That Door –
            making the transition to This…

She knew that God was with her.
      She talked to Him ‘without ceasing’ in this Now, even as she always had
            in the Then. 
      She still didn’t have answers as to how she had come to This –
            where she’d made the ‘wrong turn in the road’ that had led her to
            Here.
      Hopefully, He would let her know – sooner, rather than later.

Yes, God was Here in the dark of the night – in the empty of the day –
He was the One Who had brought her thus far –
      and He would walk with her until the Next Door opened –
      and He welcomed her Home. Even so…

    Lynden Blossom, a paper-artist who blogs at An Elegant Touch, describes herself as, "a mature, educated, creative woman - a Mother of two grown children, a Gramama of two precious grandchildren, a proud Blue Star Mother of a Marine Captain, a daughter of the King of Kings - a woman looking for her place in the world in the winter of her life."

Uncovering Mold

This is our bathroom.  Notice the lack of bathtub and wall?  Insidious mold was growing behind the shower surround, you know that thing that goes around your bathtub?  

We executed a temporary repair job a few years ago for the same problem, but had obviously waited too long before implementing a permanent solution because the mold came back with a vengeance.  So here we go again, the bathroom is torn up and getting remodeled.


 



It seems like we treat  our problems like this.  If everything looks fine on the surface, we just ignore the niggling hints that there is something wrong underneath and keep singing in the shower.

Like I said, we knew the previous repair was only temporary, but we left it alone too long, the problem got bigger and bigger and we arrived at the point where we had to strip the wall back to the cinder blocks.

Ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away and implementing a temporary repair is just that, temporary.  Sometimes you have to do the hard work of digging below the surface to get to the root of a problem.

• Are your finances a mess?  You might need to examine your expenditures to uncover where all the money is going.  
• Do you have a troubled relationship?  Don't keep shifting the blame on the other person, examine your own heart, motives and actions. 
• Are you gaining weight, or having trouble eating healthfully?  Don't deceive yourself, assess what you're eating, how much you're eating and when you're eating.  You'll likely find some answers.

In order to transition to a life of wholeness, health and peace, we need to examine honestly the unhealthy areas in our lives and deal with them by initiating changes.  Even when they're messy.  Even when they're inconvenient.  Even when they're hard.  Even when it hurts.


And while it's great to research and talk to other people about the best way to handle the problem, remember in the end that their solution is probably not going to be your solution.  Everyone has diverse circumstances. 

As a Christian, my solution begins by going to God and asking for help because effecting radical change is difficult and sometimes impossible on my own.  And quite likely the way He leads me is going to be different than the way He leads someone else.  However it happens, the repair work may still be hard, and others might judge and criticize my methods and choices, but at least I know I'm doing it the way He wants me to.

So, where is your mold?  Are you willing to strip your life down to the cinder blocks to find the truth and make changes?

The Number - A Review

What starts as a colorful and joyous harvest celebration ends many weeks later in blood and vengeance.  The Number, Book Two of the Zincian Legend Trilogy, continues Kaia Ketoki's search for the charms which began in The Chosen.

Five years have passed since The Chosen.  Kaia and Catrina, her friend and companion, are in hiding fearing for their lives for different reasons.  Catrina is now one of The Number, a designation given to a child of a god and a mortal.  She is hunted because she refused to be branded as a demigod and is considered subversive.   Kaia is in hiding because other people want the charms she has collected and because there are forces which want to control her for reasons she still does not understand.

There are many mysteries entwined around Kaia: her ancestry, her powers and abilities, and her role as a savior of her people.  She is older, stronger and wiser than she was in The Chosen, but still very vulnerable because she doesn't understand the power or desires of those who oppose her mission and her very existence.

Kaia continues to struggle with trust.  Who is trustworthy?  Can she trust the gods?  Can she trust her friends?  Betrayal hides around every bend in the road and behind every door.  She continues to be haunted by the burning of her village and death of her mother five years ago.  She is also haunted by the voice in her head that she's still not sure she can trust.

But Kaia has gained a greater sense of mission and purpose throughout her years hiding in plain sight as a bar tender.  Now the time is right to reconnect with her friends and guardian to continue the search for the mysterious items, which may not be genuine or even items at all.

I enjoyed The Number even more than The Chosen.  The author has gained skill and maturity as a writer.  The dialogue flows more naturally and Kaia and Catrina appear more believable as we see their struggles and vulnerabilities.

I'm still confused about the purpose and abilities of the gods and why they send Kaia to retrieve the items.  And Kaia's guardian Reeze, what is going on in his head?  He is not a fully fleshed-out character despite his importance to the story.

However, the mysteries continue and the danger mounts.  Kaia's alliance with Queen Ewelina appears to be a mistake and another loved one is lost in the escalating conflict.  Will Kaia and her companions gather all of the items?  Will they even survive?


The Number by Sheenah Freitas
Paper Crane Books, 2012
Young Adult Fantasy


The author provided a free Kindle edition of The Number for review.  The opinions stated are my own.

The Messenger - A Transitional Woman

What do you do when your entire world has turned upside down and what you used to believe no longer seems right?

Hannah Sunderland in The Messenger is a Quaker living in British-occupied Philadelphia during the American Revolution.  Quakers do not fight in wars or take sides.  Her twin brother took sides and is now sick and starving in prison.

Hannah struggles with a life that is in transition: disobeying her parents and church, reconciling her views of slavery while living in a slave-owner's home, becoming enmeshed in a growing web of deceptions and much more.

In the midst of the confusion is Jeremiah, damaged in body and spirit, consumed by long-held hatred and revenge who becomes her partner in a dangerous undertaking of spying and lies.  Lies that Hannah refuses to tell and Jeremiah feels are her only recourse to avoid being hanged.

The book is written in an alternating chapter style with Hannah narrating one chapter and Jeremiah narrating the next, each sharing their thoughts, fears and experiences.  We see their internal battle to discover the truth about themselves and what they value and believe.

I was pulled into the story immediately.  The main characters are three dimensional and complex.  There are no easy answers to some of the dilemmas in which they find themselves and the author does not provide simple solutions or even resolve all of the situations.  This made the story real, believable and thought provoking.

Although the main characters are fictional, others are taken from the pages of history and some of the events that Hannah and Jeremiah are a part of are also part of the historical record.  It is people who make history.  What they do and why they do it is endlessly fascinating.

If you would like to read The Messenger, it is available as a free Kindle download on Monday, May 14.


The Messenger by Siri Mitchell
Bethany House Publishers, 2012
Historical fiction, 374 pages

Bethany House Publishers provided a free copy of The Messenger for review.  The opinions stated are my own.

S is for Support

No matter what kind of transition we're dealing with, and there are many both good and bad, it helps to have a support network.

Planning a move?  Having a baby?  Deciding what college to attend?  Are you an aspiring author?  Becoming a step parent?  Has someone you love died?  We all need support.

If you are going through a transition, here is a short list of support suggestions. Not all of them will be applicable for every situation.

• Find someone to talk to.  A shared burden always feels a little lighter. 
• Ask for help, don't be afraid, don't feel ashamed.
• Let people know specifically what you need.  Others aren't always aware of what type of help would benefit you most.
• Go online.  Depending what your transition is, the information you need to make the best decision may be a Google search away and you just might find a forum full of experts to consult or a great online group to join.
• Get help from a professional.  I don't just mean spiritual or medical help, but hire a home organizer if you need to whip your house into shape in order to sell it.
• Look for a support group in your area.  Do you have a special needs child, an alcoholic parent, a physical handicap?  There are support groups available for all these situations and more.
• Reciprocate.  If you know others facing a change or challenge similar to yours, perhaps looking for a job, help each other by exchanging job tips and networking information or reviewing each others resumes.

You don't have to fight your battles, move your mountains or swim upstream alone.  Look for support and in turn, when you are able, provide support for others.

What suggestions would you add to the list?

Blogging A to Z Challenge, the letter S        

Image source

Live Out Loud, Again

If you're a regular reader of Transitional-Woman, I hope you'll forgive a re-run.  I wrote this post a few weeks ago and wanted to replay it for the Blogging A to Z Challenge because I liked it so much.   Also, it has two L's, so that counts for something, right?

One of my favorite contemporary Christian songs was performed by Steven Curtis Chapman and is called Live Out Loud.  If you're not familiar with it, he sings about being more aware of the bigger, greater life around us and how we should, "Crank up the music, climb a mountain and shout."

As a woman who lives with a great deal of caution, I find this song inspiring, thought-provoking and empowering.  It makes me want to forget the "what ifs" of life and just .... live out loud.

It makes me want to throw off fear - fear of what could happen, fear of looking foolish and fear the unknown and just ... live out loud.

All that just from a song.  I feel excited just thinking about it.  Who knows what wonderful, exciting, unexpected things the Lord will do next?

For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline, 2Timothy 1:7.

I want to really live my life before it is over, embrace the fun, challenges and changes around every corner.

I want to live out loud.

Blogging A to Z Challenge, the letter L, which stands for lots of great words.