Reinventing Me

Sometimes, if one is very fortunate, an opportunity arises to reinvent oneself.

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Moving to another town, enrolling in a different school, undertaking new employment, joining a club or group, all of these open the door to a potential new you. None of these strangers know you're a whiner, or bad-tempered, or bossy. Here is a clean slate where whining, tantrums, and bossing - everything you don't like about yourself or your character - are erased away. You can present yourself as an appreciative, calm, cooperative paragon of excellent behavior.

Okay, it isn't that easy to accomplish.

Our bad habits, annoying ways, and sinful natures aren't discarded quite so easily, but a fresh beginning with people who don't know us is a wonderful occasion to try and evolve into the person we've always wanted to be; a person slowly being transformed into the image of Christ.

I have arrived at this juncture several times in the past, but never had the good sense to take advantage of my new beginnings. Fortunately, two additional reinvention occasions have arisen. My husband and I have been looking for a new church for over a year. While visiting churches and meeting new people, I have been able to present the best Me that I can. The mind and nature of Christ that I often pray to be manifest in me has a chance to see daylight. No one knows the old me.

Starting a new job last week has afforded me the same opportunity. I can be the type of employee that Jesus would want me to be. My character and nature are as yet unknown to my employer and coworkers. I can be whoever I want to be. And what better role model than Jesus?

Raise a glass (of iced tea, naturally) to transitions and new beginnings, and the chance to reinvent yourself.

A Pebble in My Shoe

In July, a friend and I challenged each other to make a concerted effort to try and take every thought captive as Paul says we should do in 2 Corinthians 10:5. Specifically, he says, "We should demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ."

Although our week-long challenge has been over for a while, she and I continue to learn about the importance of this Biblical admonition. Here is an email my friend sent earlier this week illustrating the importance of taking every thought captive.

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"I wanted to share something with you that has to do with taking every thought captive.  As I was walking this morning, a tiny, tiny pebble popped into my shoe.  I could have stopped walking for a moment and fished out the pebble without taking off my shoe.  However, I decided that the pebble was small enough not to be a problem.  

"Within seconds, however, the pebble had moved down my ankle bone and was making itself known with a tiny little pain.  I kept walking, and, sure enough, the pebble found its way to the bottom of my foot, so that with every step I experienced a sharp pain.  Still, though, I wouldn’t stop to remove it.  

"A few seconds later the pebble jiggled around and landed where I could not feel it.  Ahh, I thought, now I can finish my walk without that little pain.  However, you guessed it, the pebble moved back to the spot that caused me pain.  Finally I stopped, sat down on the curb, removed my shoe, removed the pebble, put on my shoe, and resumed my walk.  

"I was reminded of those thoughts that I should take captive.  Those thoughts need to be taken care of right away.  I need to be aware of them and then stop and remove them, even if I have to quit walking.  Otherwise, I will experience sharp little pains that make my walk painful."

A beautiful illustration about how not taking every thought captive can hinder our walk with God. 

Next week I'll share some of the insights I have been gleaning from the still, small voice of the Holy Spirit about those sinful thoughts that I am trying to learn to halt in their tracks.

What Does it Take to be a Mentor?

Recently, while we were vacationing with our family and my daughter's new in-laws, her mother-in-law shared how she believes the Lord wants her to become more involved in mentoring younger women.

Her dilemma is that she hopes to be moving this year and does not know if she should begin mentoring women in her present church or wait until she moves and establishes relationships with a new group of women.

My daughter has mentored two teen girls over the last two or three years and two of my sons have sought mentors. I have observed several things.

• A mentor has to be willing to commit their time. There is no way to mentor without meeting together regularly. I suppose this can also be done via telephone or email. However, there seems to be something about communicating face-to-face that encourages trust and bonding.
• Praying for your mentored person is a necessary component of the relationship. It is easy for us to respond with our own advice, but God's council could be very different.
• Let them talk. A few years ago I met with a young homeschool mom who wanted advice regarding how to organize her homeschool day and still maintain a reasonably clean home. As we met and spoke for several hours over coffee, it became apparent that her real need was help with the relationship between she and her husband. If I had immediately charged in and began giving advice, she might never have gotten to the root of the problem she really needed help with.
• Be consistent. If you plan to meet every week, set the time aside and treat it as an unbreakable date otherwise every life interruption becomes a reason not to meet and the relationship falls apart.
• Treat your mentoree with respect. They might be decades younger than you or just a few years, but that does not make you a life expert. A mentor is a guide, a support, and an encourager, not a prophet from on high.

My daughter continues to mentor a high school student, her other mentoree has gone on to college. Both of these lovely young women contributed toward making her wedding day special by assisting with various small tasks.

My sons? Not so much success. The men they met with, men they respected and admired did not follow through for very long. Meetings were cancelled and my sons were not contacted. They both felt rejected and undervalued. The saddest part is that my sons felt these were both strong men of faith who they hoped would help guide them in their walk with Christ. I continue to pray for committed mentors for all three of my sons because while parents are great, being able to talk to another mature adult with a different perspective is invaluable.

Linking up with Kate at Teaching What is Good











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Sittin' on the Roof Looking for God

For the last few months, I've been attempting to discover how women fit in the 21st century church, specifically where I fit in. I haven't had any light-bulb moments yet, and have some books in my reading pile on the subject, but a couple of months ago a friend lent me a book that was, well, different from what I might normally choose to read.

A Year of Biblical Woman: How a Liberated Woman Found Herself Sitting on Her Roof, Covering Her Head, and Calling Her Husband "Master," by Rachel Held Evans is not what you would call a traditional book on the role of women in the church and perhaps that is why I enjoyed it so much.

Evans is a young woman who found herself wondering what the Bible said about the role of women. She decided to read it with that in mind to see what she would discover. Her plan was to pick one topic to explore every month for a year and try living out that ideal in the 21st century.

The topics she focused on were gentleness, domesticity, obedience, valor, beauty, modesty, purity, fertility, submission, justice, silence, and grace. Each month, Evans chose to learn skills, practice character qualities, or educate herself (particularly during justice month) in that month's topic. How she does that is what makes the book so funny and so real. No high-flying theological theorist, no idealized Proverbs 31 woman, Evans is Everywoman.

You must read the book to discover why she slept in a tent on the lawn for a few nights, carried a seat cushion with her, grew out her hair, and made a dress as one of her very first ever sewing projects. All of this in the pursuit of discovering what it means to be a Biblical woman.

Whether or not you agree with her methods, convictions, theology, or conclusions, you will laugh (and sometimes cry) your way through the book. I don't have the courage, creativity, or stamina to try a similar experiment, but reading Evan's book gave me yet another perspective on women in the Christian church, Christianity, and the Bible.

And that Proverbs 31 woman who is called a virtuous woman? Well in Hebrew it actually means valor. I've never felt I could live up to that virtuous woman, but I think I could be a woman of valor.

Didn't Dodge the Bullet

As a long time homeschooler, I think I pretty much heard all the reasons people have for choosing to homeschool. But I believe in our hearts we also secretly hoped to raise perfect children. Realistically, we would all acknowledge that's not possible, but in a teeny, tiny, dark, shadowy corner of our hearts there was a wish, a belief that through homeschooling our children could dodge the bullet of sinful choices.

It doesn't happen that way. I lived in the homeschooling community long enough to see the fall out.

We thought we could raise brilliant, well-educated, ivy league students, but I've witnessed too many poorly educated homeschoolers who would have received a better education in the worst run public school.

We thought our children would stay pure, but I've seen out of wedlock pregnancies and battles with pornography.

We thought we would raise model citizens, but homeschoolers have become juvenile delinquents too.

We thought we could teach kindness, compassion and loving behavior and have it become an integral part of our children's nature, but some became mockers and bullies.

We thought we could develop a legacy of generation upon generation of strong Christians, but some have turned their backs on their God and their family.

We thought our children would have strong marriages, but they are getting divorced just as quickly as anyone else.

The illusion printed on the covers of homeschooling magazines of large families in matching clothes all playing stringed instruments and becoming pastors and missionaries was just that, an illusion. The reality is that we are sinners and so are our children. Even if we did everything right, there's no guarantee that our children would be perfect, in fact it's impossible. All any parent can hope to do, no matter how they choose to educate their children, is raise them the best they can and keep on praying.


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Reach Out and Touch Someone

Welcome to Five Minute Friday - today's writing prompt is Connect

We are an interconnected web of humanity.  Each one's actions affects other people, both positively and negatively.  As we reach out in love, we bless and build up, first one person and then another.

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When we behave selfishly and without regard for the needs, thoughts and feelings of another we break the tenuous threads that bind us to others.

Jesus was a connector, a binder of people.  He reached out to the least and the lost, the despised and rejected.  Once He touched a person's life they were never the same.  He healed and accepted and loved.  Can we do any less?

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..

Getting Unstuck

When Bethany House Publishers sent me Unstuck: Your Life. God's Design. Real Change to review, I felt pretty excited and couldn't wait to dig into it. The back-of-the-book blurb states, "Does your relationship with God seem broken?  Full of silence and distance?  Do you ever want more than just an 'okay' walk with Christ?" Absolutely.

I've never known a Christian who hasn't had the experience of being stuck in their relationship with God, sometimes over and over again.  That is exactly why the premise of Unstuck piqued my interest.  I've felt distance between the Lord and me, I've felt a wall of silence and separation sometimes, and I've felt stuck in a place of vague discontent with where we are together as Father and child.

I hoped to find answers to the questions they proposed and opened the book with anticipation.  Unstuck is like a diamond mine, you know there are sparkling jewels of great beauty in there, but you have to dig to find them.  Basically, the authors explain that if you feel a lack of closeness and intimacy in your relationship with God you need to "engage" the Bible.  I found the concept of engaging the Bible confusing.  What exactly is that?  I eventually unearthed the definition of Bible engagement, but not until I was halfway through the book.

Words such as "notional," "relatable," and "relational" are used extensively.  I find them vague and unspecific and frequently found myself asking, "What are the authors really trying to say?"
  
The use of real-life examples of people in "stuck" spiritual situations was a helpful device because their struggles are familiar and I was eager to discover how they became "unstuck."  There were also a few "Ah ha" moments when I encountered one of the diamond thoughts worth holding onto and treasuring.


Additionally, the book can be used as a 45-day study.  There are questions with scripture references at the end of each chapter, as well as statistical information the authors gathered after surveying thousands of Christians while acquiring data for Unstuck.  An online resource can be accessed that provides additional information on growing your relationship with God.


Would I recommend Unstuck?  Conditionally.  It had beneficial guidance for developing a deep and meaningful relationship with God, but it is not a book that requires close reading.  Skimming the book, with occasional pauses for slow, close reading when you discover a diamond, would suffice.


Unstuck: Your Life. God's Design. Real Change by Arnie Cole and Michael Ross
Bethany House Publishers, 2012
Christian Life, 265 pages


Bethany House Publishers provided a free copy of Unstuck for review. The opinions stated are my own.