Spring 2013

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.

Anne Bradstreet

The season of spring is like being in your 20s, the world, is fresh and blooming, young and green, optimistic and hopeful, and the promise of summer and a bright future are ahead. In springtime, like in your 20s, everything seems possible.

But, is that the reality?

Exciting college days filled with learning, exploration, and optimism evolve into a reality of finding employment, paying off student loans, and learning how to live life in an unpredictable world outside the idealistic walls of a college campus.

While for some of us spring and its accompanying coat of yellow-green pollen is here, others are still shoveling snow or worse, beginning the grinding labor of cleaning a home flooded and damaged. Or sifting through the rubble of a home destroyed by an explosion. Or burying their dead who didn't survive the explosion, or the bombing in Afghanistan, or arrive home victorious after a marathon.

Spring, like being in your 20s, is a tricky and unpredictable thing.

S is for Support

No matter what kind of transition we're dealing with, and there are many both good and bad, it helps to have a support network.

Planning a move?  Having a baby?  Deciding what college to attend?  Are you an aspiring author?  Becoming a step parent?  Has someone you love died?  We all need support.

If you are going through a transition, here is a short list of support suggestions. Not all of them will be applicable for every situation.

• Find someone to talk to.  A shared burden always feels a little lighter. 
• Ask for help, don't be afraid, don't feel ashamed.
• Let people know specifically what you need.  Others aren't always aware of what type of help would benefit you most.
• Go online.  Depending what your transition is, the information you need to make the best decision may be a Google search away and you just might find a forum full of experts to consult or a great online group to join.
• Get help from a professional.  I don't just mean spiritual or medical help, but hire a home organizer if you need to whip your house into shape in order to sell it.
• Look for a support group in your area.  Do you have a special needs child, an alcoholic parent, a physical handicap?  There are support groups available for all these situations and more.
• Reciprocate.  If you know others facing a change or challenge similar to yours, perhaps looking for a job, help each other by exchanging job tips and networking information or reviewing each others resumes.

You don't have to fight your battles, move your mountains or swim upstream alone.  Look for support and in turn, when you are able, provide support for others.

What suggestions would you add to the list?

Blogging A to Z Challenge, the letter S        

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Being an Orphan

It's been almost a year since my mother died and I legally became an orphan.

Having no living parents or grandparents gives one an odd feeling of un-connectedness.  I have a husband, children, a sister and sister-in-law, a brother and brother-in law, a niece and nephew-in-law, numerous aunts, uncles, cousins and my husband's huge extended family.

So it's not like I'm alone in the world, but the knowledge that one doesn't have a mom or dad to turn to in troubled times feels lonely.  My dad died when I was 13 and my mother and I were not close, so it's not like I was in the habit of confiding in her.  I can't explain it, exactly.

It was more like feeling bereft, adrift, floating in the water in a boat with no oars, sails or motor.

Even though I felt like I'd been on my own in many ways since I was in my teens, there was still a feeling of loss.  And a feeling of envy for women I know who are closely linked to their mothers.  In view of my feeling of envy I realize that my feelings of loss are for what I never did have, a close connection to my mother.

There is no going back and changing the past - even if it were possible, only the ability to go forward and have a different kind of relationship with my daughter.

Blogging A - Z Challenge, the letter O






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