What Does it Take to be a Mentor?

Recently, while we were vacationing with our family and my daughter's new in-laws, her mother-in-law shared how she believes the Lord wants her to become more involved in mentoring younger women.

Her dilemma is that she hopes to be moving this year and does not know if she should begin mentoring women in her present church or wait until she moves and establishes relationships with a new group of women.

My daughter has mentored two teen girls over the last two or three years and two of my sons have sought mentors. I have observed several things.

• A mentor has to be willing to commit their time. There is no way to mentor without meeting together regularly. I suppose this can also be done via telephone or email. However, there seems to be something about communicating face-to-face that encourages trust and bonding.
• Praying for your mentored person is a necessary component of the relationship. It is easy for us to respond with our own advice, but God's council could be very different.
• Let them talk. A few years ago I met with a young homeschool mom who wanted advice regarding how to organize her homeschool day and still maintain a reasonably clean home. As we met and spoke for several hours over coffee, it became apparent that her real need was help with the relationship between she and her husband. If I had immediately charged in and began giving advice, she might never have gotten to the root of the problem she really needed help with.
• Be consistent. If you plan to meet every week, set the time aside and treat it as an unbreakable date otherwise every life interruption becomes a reason not to meet and the relationship falls apart.
• Treat your mentoree with respect. They might be decades younger than you or just a few years, but that does not make you a life expert. A mentor is a guide, a support, and an encourager, not a prophet from on high.

My daughter continues to mentor a high school student, her other mentoree has gone on to college. Both of these lovely young women contributed toward making her wedding day special by assisting with various small tasks.

My sons? Not so much success. The men they met with, men they respected and admired did not follow through for very long. Meetings were cancelled and my sons were not contacted. They both felt rejected and undervalued. The saddest part is that my sons felt these were both strong men of faith who they hoped would help guide them in their walk with Christ. I continue to pray for committed mentors for all three of my sons because while parents are great, being able to talk to another mature adult with a different perspective is invaluable.

Linking up with Kate at Teaching What is Good











Image: photostock/freedigitalphotos.net

No Trespassing

I've been thinking about writing a post regarding blogging and privacy, when lo and behold, I read someone else's post about the same topic.

Specifically, I was thinking about family life and struggles and how much could or should be shared in a blog. I don't write about my husband or children too often because I feel I would be robbing them of their privacy. This means that while there are some topics I would like to address, I don't, except in a general fashion.

Part of life and relationships involves trust. As bonds between people grow, more of the deep and important parts of us are shared. I have experienced the violation of trust in a few friendships and backed away from those women. If I trust you with my heart, I feel you should honor that trust.

So sometimes I would like to blog about the weightier challenges in my life, but because they involve the hearts of my family, I keep my writing non-specific or don't deal with the issues at all.

Some bloggers are able and willing to open up their hearts and lives and are comfortable with that level of intimacy. I genuinely applaud their bravery. But if you're reading Transitional-Woman and my struggle-posts seem unspecific or my life appears very tidy, know I am protecting my privacy and the privacy of my family. Their trust is important to me and I treasure it.


Image: artur84/freedigitalphotos.net

Family, No Matter What

Guilt seared her conscience. How could she even for a second believe her brother

 capable of murder?

Dani Pettrey

For today's A-Z Blogging Challenge and the letter F, we are reviewing a book that explores complex 

family relationships, trust and loyalty.

Shattered is the second book in the suspense-filled Alaskan Courage series which follows the complicated lives of the tightly-knit McKenna family, five brothers and sisters who own and operate an outdoor adventure company in a small Alaskan town. Well, four of the McKenna's work together. The fifth, baby brother Reef, is the black sheep who is accused of murdering a friend.

Is he guilty? All the evidence supports that, and so he is arrested. His sister Piper is convinced of his innocence, oldest brother Cole is afraid he might be guilty. Guilty or innocent they, along with the rest of their family and close friends, are determined to uncover the truth. No matter what.

The McKenna's desire to find the true murderer leads them down false trails as they travel around the lower 48 states digging through layers of lies, secrecy and other murders. The deeper they dig, the more they are convinced of Reef's innocence.

This is what we would all hope for from our families. Believing in us and trusting us, standing by us under the worst circumstances. And loving us, no matter what.


Shattered by Dani Pettrey
Bethany House Publishers, 2013
Christian Fiction, 364 pages
Bethany House Publishers provided a free copy of Shattered for review. The opinions stated are my own.

Change. Why Fight It?

Today's Five Minute Friday word challenge is Change.

Image

I spent a lot of my life afraid of change.  Change generally meant something unpleasant or frightening had happened.

Then a good thing occurred.  I finally grew up.  It took a few decades, but I don't view change as a negative anymore.  I look forward to change, I covet change, I embrace change.

How did that change of attitude come about?  I'm not exactly sure.  A large part of it is growing in trust of God.  He has seen me through so many challenges and heart aches, misfortunes and changes, but always brought me out on the other side in one piece.  Maybe a little dented, dinged and wobbly, but in one piece.  And, I think, a little bit better than I was before.



1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.

Flight of Blue

I really, really don't like trilogies, whether they be books or movies.  The wait, the anticipation for the next installment kills me (I confess to sometimes reading the end of a book after the first few chapters), which is why I prefer to discover them after they're complete.

But, I've done it again.  I've read the first book of a trilogy while the second is still being written and I'm going to have to wait.  New author A.E. Howard has just published Flight of Blue (to be released July 24)  the first installment from the Keeper of the Keys Chronicles.

I "met" Anna during the A to Z Blog Challenge in April.  She had an excerpt from Flight of Blue on one of her blogs, I read it and was pulled in.  I enjoyed it so much, I asked her if I could review it here.


I've had my Kindle edition copy a couple of weeks, it only took me this long to read it because as usual I've been chasing my tail and running behind (apologies for the mixed metaphor).  My slowness in completion is no reflection on Flight of Blue. 


The title of Chapter 1 is The Last Normal Friday.  Now you know after reading that, you're in for some action and adventure and that is exactly what happens.  Our protagonist is a regular 12-year-old boy living a somewhat regular life, except that his family moves around a lot and you'll find out why.  Only Kai's not so regular and neither are his parents.


Kai is abruptly thrown into circumstances he could never have imagined. He has to transition from being a kid who is moving through life in the usual middle school way into a young man who has to lead a band of friends, accept new responsibilities and make snap decisions not only to survive himself but to save his friends.


Flight of Blue is a book about the value of friendship - with friends old and new, choosing whether or not to accept a strange and uncertain future, facing frightening and confusing situations which defy understanding and trusting strangers to teach and guide you.


I don't know what the genre is, middle grade fantasy maybe?  But I found it great adult reading in the tradition of Madeleine L'Engle and her A Wrinkle in Time series and Austin Family Chronicles.

Want a little sneak peak?


But what I need to know is, Anna, what comes next?!?!?   And how long do I have to wait?


Be sure to stop by on July 27 when A.E. Howard visits Transitional-Woman as one of the stops on her blog tour.

Flight of Blue by A.E. Howard
Elder Tree Books, 2012
Fantasy, Kindle edition

The author proved a Kindle edition at no charge for my review.  All views and opinions expressed are my own.

The Number - A Review

What starts as a colorful and joyous harvest celebration ends many weeks later in blood and vengeance.  The Number, Book Two of the Zincian Legend Trilogy, continues Kaia Ketoki's search for the charms which began in The Chosen.

Five years have passed since The Chosen.  Kaia and Catrina, her friend and companion, are in hiding fearing for their lives for different reasons.  Catrina is now one of The Number, a designation given to a child of a god and a mortal.  She is hunted because she refused to be branded as a demigod and is considered subversive.   Kaia is in hiding because other people want the charms she has collected and because there are forces which want to control her for reasons she still does not understand.

There are many mysteries entwined around Kaia: her ancestry, her powers and abilities, and her role as a savior of her people.  She is older, stronger and wiser than she was in The Chosen, but still very vulnerable because she doesn't understand the power or desires of those who oppose her mission and her very existence.

Kaia continues to struggle with trust.  Who is trustworthy?  Can she trust the gods?  Can she trust her friends?  Betrayal hides around every bend in the road and behind every door.  She continues to be haunted by the burning of her village and death of her mother five years ago.  She is also haunted by the voice in her head that she's still not sure she can trust.

But Kaia has gained a greater sense of mission and purpose throughout her years hiding in plain sight as a bar tender.  Now the time is right to reconnect with her friends and guardian to continue the search for the mysterious items, which may not be genuine or even items at all.

I enjoyed The Number even more than The Chosen.  The author has gained skill and maturity as a writer.  The dialogue flows more naturally and Kaia and Catrina appear more believable as we see their struggles and vulnerabilities.

I'm still confused about the purpose and abilities of the gods and why they send Kaia to retrieve the items.  And Kaia's guardian Reeze, what is going on in his head?  He is not a fully fleshed-out character despite his importance to the story.

However, the mysteries continue and the danger mounts.  Kaia's alliance with Queen Ewelina appears to be a mistake and another loved one is lost in the escalating conflict.  Will Kaia and her companions gather all of the items?  Will they even survive?


The Number by Sheenah Freitas
Paper Crane Books, 2012
Young Adult Fantasy


The author provided a free Kindle edition of The Number for review.  The opinions stated are my own.

Trust

Welcome to 5 Minute Friday.  This week's word is Trust.

In God We Trust.  Or so it says on U.S. coins.  A strong, profound, planting both feet on the ground statement.  But do we really mean it on a personal level?

If we truly trust God, we won't worry, be anxious, stay up sleepless at night fussing and fuming over this decision or that.  If we truly trust God, we will put aside our fears, anxieties and worries, close our eyes and go to sleep.

If we truly trust God, we will have a heart of peace knowing that our lives are not spinning out of control, but are perfectly IN control ... just not our control.  Are we willing to live with that?  Are we willing to give up the control over our lives, circumstances and decisions and really, truly trust God to work on our behalf?

It's a bold step to say and mean In God I Trust.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking.
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3.Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them.

Source