They Like Me, They Really Like Me

When did we develop such as obsessive need to be liked?

We seek to "friend" people on Facebook (and be friended) not only to connect with our current circle of friends and reconnect with friends from our past, but seemingly to prove our popularity by how many "friends" we have.  Who isn't delighted when dozens of friends "like" an item we've posted?  It is affirming.  We feel listened to.  We feel as if we've made a connection.  We feel liked.

But, how many of our "friends" are genuinely friends who truly like us?

This reminds me of Pinterest, a sort of Facebook in an idea-sharing, virtual scrap-booky kind of way.  Don't we all want lots of fellow-Pinteresters to like what we like and re-pin our pins?  Don't we secretly wish for an extensive list of followers oohing and aahing over our boards, admiring our taste and virtual creativity?

Twitter, Instagram, blogs, who know what else taps a secret place inside of us that craves affirmation?  Whether we receive it from friends or strangers, does it matter?  They like us, they really like us!

Few, if any people, go out of their way to try and persuade people not to like them. And, really, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be liked.  But should it matter so much?  Will our birthday be ruined if 45 people don't post birthday greetings on our Facebook wall?

Will we still view ourselves as worthwhile people even if no one follows our Pinterest boards?

A strong sense of self, liking who we are and being comfortable and happy in our skin, is of more worth than having 700 Facebook friends.  And a deep connection with two or three people is much more fulfilling than 60 "likes" on our newest pin or post.  Quantity is not quality.  So let's all try to put the brakes on our obsession with being "liked".  Instead, let's work on forging strong bonds with a few authentic friends who we can touch skin-to-skin and see if we can stop craving so many virtual (((((((((hugs))))))))).

Transitional Woman's Excellent Adventure

The plane flew low over the flatlands neatly marked into individual fields where crops had grown this summer.  I was feeling a little nervous, but not due to flying (which I love) but because I was going to spend five days with a group of women I'd never met.

I was venturing into the unimaginable.  I was going on an internet meet up.  My sons thought it was a little crazy and when I asked why, they responded, "What would you say if we told you that we were going to meet up with strangers we met on the internet?"

Point taken.

This past spring I wrote about virtual friendships, wondering if they were as real as flesh and blood friendships.  I was about to find out.

Drawn together by our common faith in Christ and love of fiber arts, we met in the middle of the country to laugh, pray, play with our yarn, eat, eat some more, and finally put a face to the name, a voice to the words we see on screen and  find out if these women are really like the women we've learned to know from online chatting.

I could bore you with all sorts of anecdotes about Brenda or Peggy or Joanne how they were like or unlike what I imagined, but the real point is virtual friends can be real friends.

Meeting them face to face only cemented the friendships formed online.  We already know so much about each others lives that we weren't strangers, just friends who hadn't met yet.

We were a mixed bag of women though, from 20s to 50s (our group has women from their teens to 70s, but. sadly, many couldn't come) from all over the country (our European sisters couldn't make it either), with lifetimes of vastly different experiences.

But did we have fun?  I do not have the words.  Did we laugh?  Harder then ever in our lives.  Did our bonds grow stronger and tighter?  More than I could have imagined.

So my excellent adventure was all I could have hoped for and more and I was sorrier than I can say when it was time to head for home.  However, there's always next year and I plan to be the first to sign up.

On a Little Adventure

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You would normally see a Five Minute Friday post today, but I am currently on an adventure, not home and staying away from the computer.

I can't wait to share more about Transitional-Woman's Excellent Adventure next week.  All I can say is, I would never have imagined I would ever do something like this.

Are you curious?

Virtual Friends

I've mentioned before that I'm a little bit late to the dance, the technology dance.  I didn't get a Facebook page until January, I didn't own an e-reader until Christmas and I didn't discover the wonder of online groups and forums until last spring.

It's not that I dislike new technological ideas, but it's that I didn't have time to explore them.  I still don't have time, but I changed some priorities.  (I still can't get my blog to do some things I want it to do and my Transitional-Woman Facebook page needs a lot of help.  However, these are tales for another time.)

Today's focus is the world of virtual friends.  We were all suspicious of online forums in the early days, thinking they were full of stalkers and weirdos.  But as I was obliviously rushing through life these somehow became legitimate places on the web.

Last year, when we finally got WiFi, I started exploring this land with a vengeance and soon became part of many, many groups connecting me to nice strangers who shared the same interests I have.

It didn't take me long to realize that I could not keep up with all of these groups and still stay connected with the flesh and blood world.  So I whittled down my list to a few groups and have found myself amazed that I am friends with strangers.

We share our love for our hobbies, we know each others kids names, we share spiritual lessons learned, we know each others birthdays and we sometimes confess our foibles and sins.  Just like Real Friends.

My family was amused by my growing circle of virtual friends.  As I shared this and that about their lives, my kids got this little, "Oh isn't Mama cute," look on their faces and my husband smiled at me indulgently as he often does.  But I've come to realize these women are no different than the penpals that people used to have in bygone days.

My virtual friends are slowly becoming real friends.  We share our concerns and pray for each other.  We keep up with the events in each others lives and grow concerned when we don't hear from each other for a while.  If that's not real friendship, what is?

What do you think about virtual friends.  Are they as real as real friends?

Image source

Blogging A to Z Challenge, the letter V

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