Is Old Age Such a Bad Thing?

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My friend and I were discussing Downton Abbey a few weeks ago and agreed on how pleased we were that Maggie Smith looked like a genuine, wrinkled, saggy, old lady. As we talked, we realized one of our favorite aspects of British television is that many programs star actors and actresses who are middle-aged or old.

It seems like American television is overly populated with the young, thin and beautiful, but our U.K. brothers and sisters acknowledge that one can be over 40 and still be a viable human being with an interesting life.

I watched a program on network television last night that featured an actress I remembered seeing regularly in the 1980s when she was probably about 35. That would put her firmly in her 60s now, and she looked seriously bad.

Not because she looked like a real woman in her 60s - sags, bags, wrinkles and all - but because she looked like a woman in her 60s who was trying to look like she was a woman in her 30s. She possessed that sad, sad appearance that accompanies too many facial surgeries. Poor thing, I thought. In order for you to find any work in the U.S. you probably feel compelled to constantly shore-up that sagging flesh on your face and body.

I'm not too happy when I look in the mirror anymore either, but you can't fight time and gravity forever. I plan to keep on living, loving, learning and having a good time despite the sags and wrinkles.

Maybe that's one of the biggest advantages to never having been beautiful, you don't have so far to fall:)

They Like Me, They Really Like Me

When did we develop such as obsessive need to be liked?

We seek to "friend" people on Facebook (and be friended) not only to connect with our current circle of friends and reconnect with friends from our past, but seemingly to prove our popularity by how many "friends" we have.  Who isn't delighted when dozens of friends "like" an item we've posted?  It is affirming.  We feel listened to.  We feel as if we've made a connection.  We feel liked.

But, how many of our "friends" are genuinely friends who truly like us?

This reminds me of Pinterest, a sort of Facebook in an idea-sharing, virtual scrap-booky kind of way.  Don't we all want lots of fellow-Pinteresters to like what we like and re-pin our pins?  Don't we secretly wish for an extensive list of followers oohing and aahing over our boards, admiring our taste and virtual creativity?

Twitter, Instagram, blogs, who know what else taps a secret place inside of us that craves affirmation?  Whether we receive it from friends or strangers, does it matter?  They like us, they really like us!

Few, if any people, go out of their way to try and persuade people not to like them. And, really, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be liked.  But should it matter so much?  Will our birthday be ruined if 45 people don't post birthday greetings on our Facebook wall?

Will we still view ourselves as worthwhile people even if no one follows our Pinterest boards?

A strong sense of self, liking who we are and being comfortable and happy in our skin, is of more worth than having 700 Facebook friends.  And a deep connection with two or three people is much more fulfilling than 60 "likes" on our newest pin or post.  Quantity is not quality.  So let's all try to put the brakes on our obsession with being "liked".  Instead, let's work on forging strong bonds with a few authentic friends who we can touch skin-to-skin and see if we can stop craving so many virtual (((((((((hugs))))))))).

Here is All You've Got

It's Five Minute Friday.  Today we're writing for five minutes only about Here.

This is it.  This is all we've got.  We're here.  It's now. And we've got to make the best of it.

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Sometimes Here is fantastic and it's all ice cream, sunshine, laughter and fresh air.

And Sometimes Here is cold, damp, gloomy and lonely.

Whatever Here is, we have to deal with it.  The ultimate challenge is to find joy despite the fact that Here may be at the bottom of the pit instead of at the top of the Ferris wheel.

That's when  you know you've finally become a grown-up Christian; when you look hard to find the goodness in a Here that you would prefer not to be living through.  You learn acceptance and determination and throw away the grumbling, moping and complaining.

You deal with whatever comes your way because Here is All You've Got.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking

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2. Link back here and invite others to join in.

3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community..