We seek to "friend" people on Facebook (and be friended) not only to connect with our current circle of friends and reconnect with friends from our past, but seemingly to prove our popularity by how many "friends" we have. Who isn't delighted when dozens of friends "like" an item we've posted? It is affirming. We feel listened to. We feel as if we've made a connection. We feel liked.
But, how many of our "friends" are genuinely friends who truly like us?
This reminds me of Pinterest, a sort of Facebook in an idea-sharing, virtual scrap-booky kind of way. Don't we all want lots of fellow-Pinteresters to like what we like and re-pin our pins? Don't we secretly wish for an extensive list of followers oohing and aahing over our boards, admiring our taste and virtual creativity?
Twitter, Instagram, blogs, who know what else taps a secret place inside of us that craves affirmation? Whether we receive it from friends or strangers, does it matter? They like us, they really like us!
Few, if any people, go out of their way to try and persuade people not to like them. And, really, there's nothing wrong with wanting to be liked. But should it matter so much? Will our birthday be ruined if 45 people don't post birthday greetings on our Facebook wall?
Will we still view ourselves as worthwhile people even if no one follows our Pinterest boards?
A strong sense of self, liking who we are and being comfortable and happy in our skin, is of more worth than having 700 Facebook friends. And a deep connection with two or three people is much more fulfilling than 60 "likes" on our newest pin or post. Quantity is not quality. So let's all try to put the brakes on our obsession with being "liked". Instead, let's work on forging strong bonds with a few authentic friends who we can touch skin-to-skin and see if we can stop craving so many virtual (((((((((hugs))))))))).
I think the older one becomes - the more you just don't worry about who likes you and who does not. I'm getting a lot better about being myself and that being okay.
ReplyDeletesandie
I think so too. I care less about the opinion of others than I used to.
DeleteThis is really good stuff. That endless need for affirmation drains the energy out of our souls and grows old for those around us ... either in person or online. Because it's never enough, is it ...
ReplyDeleteAh ... but HE is enough, isn't He ...
HE really is the answer. His love and affirmation are enough, or should be.
DeleteGreat post, Elizabeth, and oh, so true though I hate to admit it. It is hard not to get caught up in caring how many people like my blog posts and FB comments.
ReplyDeleteI think it's a battle for most of us because it's a basic human desire to be loved.
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