Call Me Coach

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I've reflected on my changing roll as a mother frequently this year since my youngest turned 18 and legally, I'm no longer responsible for him or any of my children.

I metaphorically throw up my hands in frustration when I sometimes see my young adults making less than stellar choices, or making no choices at all, which is often worse.

Talking with friends who have adult children, we agree it is harder parenting them now than it was when they were young, mainly because we used to be able to tell our children what to do and they did it.  Now we can tell them what to do and they just ignore us.

Since I'm not Mommy anymore, I have found there are other roles to fill more beneficial to my adults/kids.  So, call me coach.  This is one roll I can fill.  I can encourage.  I can help them set goals (if they ask). I can help develop a life plan (because I want them to succeed).  A life coach, right?

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I asked my daughter exactly what a life coach did because I wasn't sure.  After she explained, I said, "It's a Mommy, right?"  She agreed that there were parallels.  A life coach appears to help one analyze his life, experiences, hopes, plans and dreams in order to devise a plan to determine, devise and eventually reach his goals.

Did you have someone in your life to coach you as a young adult?  Unfortunately, I didn't but, in retrospect, I could have benefited from that type of support and coaching. That's one of my goals now, to coach my kids.  To help them make a plan and devise benchmarks in order to reach their goals and dreams.

They don't need me to tell them what to do, but I want to be available to be a coach if that's what it takes to assist them along the path to adulthood.

What's Time Worth?

I said, "Adios," a couple of weeks ago to a part-part-time job I held for six years.  Part-part was not a typing error.  I shared the job with two other women and we rotated the job among us every three months, one month on, two months off.

That doesn't make sense, you might think, knowing that I am actually planning on working more now that #3 son will be graduating homeschool next week and be off to college soon.

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The reason for my unplanned and somewhat impetuous resignation was due to time. The job description was recently and drastically changed with increased hours and responsibilities, but no increase in wages.

Not a big issue when the job was only a few hours a week and I viewed it as a way to earn a little extra cash, but suddenly a very big deal when I was now required to re-apply for the job, fill out a multi-page employment application, find a notary to witness something (I don't know what, I didn't read that far), jump through some other hoops (nine in all) and take a drug test.  A drug test?  For a part-part-time job I accomplish in my home?  That I have already performed for six years?  And I am expected to do all this on my own time without being paid?

That's why I said I quit because of time.

What value does your time have to you?

I realized that this job was not one I particularly enjoyed nor was it in line with some tentative goals I have.  Realistically, the time it would take to accomplish the work would be better used working toward long-term plans.

Even though this means a loss of income for a while, I think using my time to take steps to achieve other ambitions is worth it to me.

With every decision we make, we need to count the cost not only in terms of time and money, but satisfaction, peace of mind and fulfillment.  So, what is your time worth to you?