That's a lyric from a song in one of my favorite Disney flicks, Jungle Book. Do you remember it? Mowgli, feeling rather down in the dumps, sings this song with two vultures. (Ooh, now that's an odd thought. Were the folks at Disney studios implying that those who we think are our friends are actually vultures? Waiting for us to die so they can pick our bones? Enough of those dark thoughts.)
I think it's fascinating to see how other people view friendship and what the term means to them. I've known people who, after meeting me just a few times, introduce me to others as a friend. On the other end of the spectrum, there are people I've known for 10 years and have spent a lot of time with who don't really know me at all, who also call me friend.
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A friend, to me, is someone who makes time to spend time with me, whether having fun talking about nothing in particular or enjoying deep, real, meaningful conversation about what is important to us. Someone with whom I can be honest and share the parts of me that aren't very beautiful, and they still love me. Someone with whom I can talk about the concerns of my heart and not feel dismissed. Someone who accepts the choices and decisions I make, and doesn't reject me because they don't agree. Someone who makes me think and challenges me to defend what I think and believe.
If we're really fortunate, we come across this type of friend a few times in our lifetime.
My definition of real friendship is a narrow one, but I think I'd rather have one very close friend than a dozen casual friends. I guess it's tied to the type of person I am. An introvert like me finds being with large numbers of people engaged in superficial small talk pretty exhausting. Conversely, I can spend hours talking in a meaningful way with one or two people and feel energized and stimulated.
I appreciate the different relationships in my life. Because of them, I grow and learn and become a better person. But I am particularly thankful when there is someone in my life who I can call a kindred spirit.
Yeah, us introverts love the deep one on one conversations, the connectedness, the safety, the transparency, the vulnerability ... and it takes a long time to get there, doesn't it.
ReplyDeletemmm ... I guess we might encounter a few vultures along the way?
It can take a long time to get there, but every once in a while you meet someone and a true friendship forms quickly. You know those friendships are a gift from God.
DeleteI agree with your definition of a true friend. I have introduced people whom I don't know well as a friend though, too. It's difficult to know what to say in that situation.
ReplyDeleteYou're reading my mind. I'm also working on a piece about what we can call "friends".
DeleteI'll be looking forward to that post. :)
DeleteLove this post, Elizabeth- and praying that as we get closer, we have a "true friendship", we are already sisters :)
ReplyDeleteLove you- Cindy
I have no doubt Cindy that we are destined for true friendship. I knew it even before we met!
DeleteIt's funny that I should visit your blog for the first time and find a post about friendship. I have been wrestling my own friendship post into submission. Mine is still partly in my head, partly on paper (I'm old school that way), but I find hope in your words that perhaps I'm not too far off the mark on my feelings of what constitutes a close friend. Well said Elizabeth!
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by Linda. Isn't it funny how often we find others thinking along the same lines we are?
DeleteI think it's important in this age of computers and blog friends that we not forget what true physical friendship is and i think you're smart to remind us. That look into my eyes and hear me speak type that we tend to forget when we sit at our computers.
ReplyDeleteI am grateful for my blog friendships ad I am fortunate to have an active social life with a group of casual girlfriends.
But the fact is friendship does not come easy to me- real deep abiding friendship.I can honestly claim two friends as you've described and I consider myself lucky I have that many!!
Jen, I think you are very lucky that you have two friends who you have a deep, abiding friendship with. I think many people don't even have that many.
ReplyDeleteI also treasure my blog friends and feel so fortunate that the 21st century has brought blog friends into my life too.