I've thought about this before, had discussions with other women and haven't ever arrived at any resolution. Where does a strong woman without huge domestic inclinations contribute to the church body with which she's affiliated? By domestic inclinations I mean the usual places women can acceptably volunteer in a church.
I can't sing, I don't play the piano, I'm not a very good teacher, nursery duty is okay but I don't love it, I freeze up when I have to prepare meals for others (What do they like? Will they like my cooking? All those insecurities rise up to the surface.), organizing potlucks? Ugh.
Since becoming a Christian, I've attended fairly traditional, very traditional and the occasional less-than-traditional church and find I am most comfortable in fairly and very traditional churches, but this is where the gender divide seems most obvious.
Do I want to be involved in church leadership? Let me put this another way. Do I want to stand in front of a firing squad? You understand what I mean here, I think. I am a coward.
Isn't there a middle-ground place for women like me? Since leaving our previous church last summer, my husband and I have visited and enjoyed attending many different churches. It has been an interesting experience. As we continue to narrow down the choices, I'm looking at where I might contribute and feel a little dissatisfied by the choices.
God made me the way I am. I am strong-minded, I am opinionated, I am compassionate, I don't suffer fools gladly, I want to help, I want to make a difference, I want to be a blessing to my community, I don't want to be in the limelight and I hate attending meetings :)
This is a blog post with no conclusion because I am still in the midst of exploring where a strong woman, who desires to serve, fits in the church. I really want to hear what all of you think about this. If you attend a church, how do you serve?
One last thought, "So whether you eat or drink or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God." (I Cor.10:31)
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Elizabeth - you might love How I Changed My Mind About Women in Leadership ...
ReplyDeletehttp://creeksideministries.blogspot.com/2011/06/women-ministry-leaders.html
It's been a game-changer for many!
Be sure that if God's gifted and called you into ministry, that He will open doors for you to do so! You just might be surprised as to what those doors look like!
Thanks Linda, the book looks exceptionally interesting and like something I would like to read.
DeleteYour comment was encouraging and God-honoring. Thank you.
Very interesting post, Elizabeth!
ReplyDeleteI attend a fairly traditional church, and I'm thankful that women are welcome to participate in a variety of ministries there.
Does your church include small groups or Life Groups? Seems as if that is one of the current trends in churches, and our church has followed suit. My husband and I attend a Life Group for adults.
Recently a friend and I began a Women's Life Group at our church. We meet one afternoon twice a month for Bible study, fellowship, and service projects. So far, my friend has done most of the teaching. I have found this ministry to be very rewarding! Perhaps you might consider something similar. If you are not one to teach, you can use a video lesson followed by discussion.
I also teach an adult women's class every Sunday morning during the Bible study hour.
I used to enjoy the traditional women's ministries like nursery/childcare/children's ministry, but as I've gotten older, I enjoy that less. I'm very happy now with my ministry opportunities, and I hope that you can find a place to use the gifts that God has given you.
We are currently on a church search after leaving our previous church of 10 years. As we visit various churches, I try to imagine where I could best use my abilities to serve, but it doesn't always seem obvious. Thank you so much for your input.
DeleteElizabeth, good questions, interested in what answers you find. We have been in extreme traditional to moderate liberal churches, all with their own set of problems. For me (and we are not in a church right now) the answer is in personal connections. Making friendships with a few, not holding "positions" but ministering on a personal level as needs are apparent. I think in heaven there will be lots of surprises. I envision the little old ladies in trailer parks who prayed and maybe couldn't even leave their homes will have powerful rewards, even over those with high level positions. Personal ministry, there are always opportunities there.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more with you about personal relationships. I think that is one of the things that appeals to me most. As an introvert, I am less at ease in large gatherings and don't enjoy running things. But there is an expectation in many churches to be involved in one of their particular ministries.
DeleteElizabeth, I have done about every thing there is to do in a church. but the thing that gives me the greatest joy is helping another woman grow. Sometimes that is in a group and sometimes that is one on one. It seems as I look back to my nursing working days which eventually let to me being the directer of it I did not especially enjoy working with children. But what I did like was the fellowship with the ladies who I work with. I really think I found my place years later in teaching woman. I just think God wanted me willing to learn in all the other ministries that He was my strength not my self. I wonder if your church has an senior program, or a witnessing program, or a sound system program, or soemone to write up the bullitins, etc. There usually are small things that others do that are not even known by most folks who go to church. People to count the offering is needed, someone to make sure the baptisary has clean towels...well you get my point.
ReplyDeleteLay it before the Lord and He will show you. It will probably be something you never thought of. Let us know when He tells you please.
I appreciate your wise advice. I too have done just about everything that as a woman I've been allowed to do in church. Usually because the need was there or because I prefer working side-by-side with my husband.
DeleteI was raised Catholic, left the church in my 20's, tried several non-denominations, after I had kids, returned to the Catholic church. I have a very ecumenical spirit. I can encounter Christ in any church, so it's less about the building/denom for me than the relationship w/ Christ. I did all kinds of things over the years, taught religion classes, joined various bible studies or small groups, did retreats, sang in the choir, served as a eucharist minister. I don't think there's any one role for any of us. And options change as you move through life and mature in your faith. I say, do what you feel called to do - whatever you love, that is your gift. Use that until God moves your heart to something else.
ReplyDeleteI have also belonged to many types of churches and now that I'm older and don't feel compelled to help in infant's, children's and youth ministry as I did when my children, I feel somewhat at a loss as to how to use my particular gifts and abilities.
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