Middle-aged people, from hereon to be referred to as MAP, speak lie after lie probably working under the belief that if you repeat a lie often enough everyone will start to believe it is true. These are some of the statements MAP have talked others into believing.
- These are the best years of your life. - Why? My body is falling apart, I can't remember what you said five minutes ago and no one calls me "Miss" anymore.
- Your kids can take care of themselves and you don't have to worry about them anymore. - HA.
- You can embark on a whole new career. - Who's going to pay the mortgage while I'm embarking?
- Fifty is the new 30. - You have got to be joking. I don't look or feel anything like I did when I was 30. And things haven't changed for the better.
- As a MAP, you have gained so much life experience and are so much wiser now than you were when you were younger. - If that's true, why do I keep making the same stupid mistakes?
- You don't care what other people think about you anymore. - Then why do so many MAP get plastic surgery? Why does it take me more time than it used to applying make up? Why do I bother going to the gym? Am I really doing all of this just for me?
In case you're wondering what age bracket actually constitutes middle age, I heard on talk radio today that this group includes people from 45 through 64 years old.
Okay, so I lied when I said very recently.