5/06/2012

Breaking Up is Hard To Do


It was like falling violently in love and being dumped abruptly in the same month. The rush, the wonder, the excitement, dreaming about what to write, composing a masterful post, publishing it on time, reveling in the comments. So satisfying, so fulfilling.  Then ... it was over.
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What do I do?  I've forgotten how to write without a letter of the alphabet to guide my thinking.  Who am I?  What is my blog usually about anyway?  Where do I go from here?  I feel so lost, so alone, so abandoned, so used.

The newness of the relationship was so exhilarating. The adrenaline rush, unmatchable.  Fresh, new, unknown blogs to read, 1,700 from which to choose.  I was giddy from the possibilities.

But like any new relationship  I eventually discovered little quirks that displeased,  me such as private blogs (how do you expect me to read you?), word verification (I can't always understand you), content which was sometimes offensive (all I wanted was a pure, beautiful relationship), the inability to leave comments (how can we get to know each other if we don't communicate?), very long posts (it's true, I was guilty of this too, my darling).

Despite the abrupt end to our wild and stimulating relationship, I gained so much.  You opened up a whole new world for me.  I met so many new people, many of whom I hope will still be my friends even though you and I are no longer together.

New opportunities, such an unexpected boon.  Because of you I will be reviewing books on my blog.  I'm thrilled to read different books and now I can review them so that the world will know them too.  Would this have happened without you?  I don't know, but you have opened up my world.

What would I change about you if I could?  Oh my beloved, I didn't want you to sell me things.  I turned away from you when I recognized your motive.  I wanted a love affair not a sales meeting.  That made me feel so used, so defiled.

And, my beloved, though it was so addictive being with you everyday, I realized that I couldn't let you consume me anymore.  There is a whole life still to be lived away from the keyboard, away from the alphabet, away from you.  But, maybe we can meet again next year?

(Want to read some of the other blogs in the Challenge?  Click here.)

24 comments:

  1. I enjoyed your "relationship" take on the A-Z reflection Elizabeth...love - not so much love.....i hear ya!

    I'm so happy that the idea of doing book reviews was your end result. Enjoyment really is what it's all about :)

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  2. What a wonderful way to write the reflection post :)

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  3. How do you manage to write what was in my head, that is exactly what I wanted to say but just couldn't find the words! The words just don't come out straight when nursing the heartbreak! Maybe my lose has not been so hard to take because the computer is currently in hospital and will be well again this week! Breaking up is so hard to do but like you I am kinda glad because I really do need to move on to something else for a little while. Catch you soon

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    1. Having your computer on the sick list probably helped with your withdrawal. Thanks for the mention on your blog.

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  4. Ohhhh, E. - You just 'make my day' with each of your precious posts! This was a great analogy! ;-] Thanks for ALL of your Thoughts - I've so enjoyed 'getting to know You,' too! I look forward to more...

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  5. Oh, how funny this is! It WAS a love/hate relationship. Too many late nights, heavy discussions, and now bittersweet moments because it's over. Do I want to do it again next year? I don't know! Thanks for the chuckle.

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  6. We need to create a support group for those of us who love/hated the challenge. I would definitely do it again, though. It served its purpose and the reflection post is doing its job, too. I didn't get to your blog during the challenge and so happy to have found it now. Looking forward to reading more.

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    1. I love your support group idea. I think I'm crazy enough to want to do it next year too.

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  7. "such as private blogs (how do you expect me to read you?), word verification (I can't always understand you), content which was sometimes offensive (all I wanted was a pure, beautiful relationship), the inability to leave comments (how can we get to know each other if we don't communicate?), very long posts"

    All my peeves written out there--and stuff I battled against as a co-host. Thanks for this lovely reflections post.

    If you'd like to guest post for us over at www.a-to-zchallenge.com to talk about your writing, reading, or blogging in general, let us know at 2012AZinfo at gmail dot com.

    Damyanti
    #atozchallenge co-host 2012

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  8. I agree - it began as a flirtation, turned into an obsessive crush, quickly became an intense relationship, and then turned a bit tedious as we drew closer to the inevitable. Very much like some relationships, I'm afraid! I do hope some of these habits we developed, as well as the new relationships with fellow bloggers, remain long past the Challenge, though!

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    1. I came across some great blogs and would like to keep reading through all the many others I haven't gotten to.

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  9. Congrats on completing the challenge, I agree with all of your thoughts on it!

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  10. Ha ha this was funny. I agree though, it did feel a bit like that. I felt a bit weird so I immediately signed up for a meditation month of blogging! Glutton for punishment. You made some good points though. Nice to meet you :)

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    1. What an intrepid woman to sign right up for another month!

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  11. You are SO funny!
    One of my favorite things in the whole challenge has been watching your comedic writing style develop. It is so quirky, and fun! I love it!!!

    *hugs*

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    1. I'm afraid to say it, but my mind works like this all the time.

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  12. Very cleverly conceived love letter to the A to Z Challenge. You've pointed out many of the quirks that were bothersome and that the A to Z Team will continue to try to solve. But thank you for overlooking the flaws and seeing the inner beauty of this blogging event. It was good for me too.


    Lee
    An A to Z Co-Host
    Tossing It Out

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  13. Reflection is a good thing, You have done a great job on the A to Z Challenge...

    Jeremy [Retro-Zombie]
    A to Z Co-Host
    My New Book:
    Retro-Zombie: Art and Words

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  14. I love your reflections. You said what was in my head. I especially agree with your first point. I didn't know what to do without the letters to guide me. I'm still working on that. :)

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    1. Janyce, how can I get to your blog?

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  15. I don't think I got a chance to visit your blog during the challenge, but the love how you wrote the reflections post. And i totally agree about signing up private blogs. I stumbled on quite a few of those.

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    1. Those private blogs just don't make sense, do they? I mean, why bother signing up?

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  16. Congratulations on finishing the challenge, hopefully we will do it again next April!

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