An Open Letter to AARP

Dear AARP,
I don't know where you got the idea that I was interested in joining you.  And although I persist in throwing your mailings into my recycling bin, you persist in sending me more.

Since you are obviously not getting the message that I AM NOT INTERESTED, here are some clues that I am not AARP material.
1.  I am not retired.
2.  I can run.
3.  I have a child who is under 18.
4.  I work.
5.  I don’t repeat myself
6.  I periodically alter my hairstyle.
7.  I can still touch my toes.
8.  I am not eligible for Social Security and won’t be for a Very Long Time.
9.  My hair is blonde, not grey, blonde 
10. I have great shoes.
11. I don't eat "Early Bird Specials"
12. I keep the TV volume low.
13. I don't repeat myself.

So save your money and stop contacting me.  I’ll let you know if I ever need you.


  1. Unfortunately, I do have gray hair, and I do keep the volume up on the TV, and worst of all, I don't have great shoes like yours!

    But, I am not eligible for Social Security for a Very Long Time!

  2. Looks like some shoe shopping is in your future.

  3. I cracked up at #13. You clever girl. :)

  4. This cracked me up! Actually, I have a 25 year old daughter who has been getting mail from AARP for years! It's a mystery how her name got on their mailing list ...

  5. So funny! I've heard a rumor I can start taking exercise classes at our town's Senior Center at age 45. There's nothing Senior about 45!!