Spring 2013

If we had no winter, the spring would not be so pleasant: if we did not sometimes taste of adversity, prosperity would not be so welcome.

Anne Bradstreet

The season of spring is like being in your 20s, the world, is fresh and blooming, young and green, optimistic and hopeful, and the promise of summer and a bright future are ahead. In springtime, like in your 20s, everything seems possible.

But, is that the reality?

Exciting college days filled with learning, exploration, and optimism evolve into a reality of finding employment, paying off student loans, and learning how to live life in an unpredictable world outside the idealistic walls of a college campus.

While for some of us spring and its accompanying coat of yellow-green pollen is here, others are still shoveling snow or worse, beginning the grinding labor of cleaning a home flooded and damaged. Or sifting through the rubble of a home destroyed by an explosion. Or burying their dead who didn't survive the explosion, or the bombing in Afghanistan, or arrive home victorious after a marathon.

Spring, like being in your 20s, is a tricky and unpredictable thing.

Do it Your Way

While grief is fresh, every effort to divert irritates. You must wait till it be digested, and then amusement will dissipate the remains of it.

Samuel Johnson

Our reaction to the death of someone we care about is as unique as each of us is. The ability to let go of grief and move on is easier in theory than actuality. Here are some suggestions about dealing with death and grieving 

1. It is unfair to compare and judge the length and depth of how one grieves with how another grieves. One friend was devastated for several years by her miscarriage and did not want to be around babies at all for a few years. Another friend processed the same loss more quickly and did not have the same reaction to newborns. Neither friend did it "right" or did it "wrong". They just felt the effects of death differently.
2. Think before you speak. I have heard an amazing amount of thoughtless remarks addressed to grieving people. If you don't know what to say, try, "I'm so sorry."
3. Offer practical and specific help. Saying, "Call if you need anything," is kind, but saying, "Can I mow your lawn and bring you dinner next Monday?" is more tangible. It is difficult to think clearly during the fog of fresh grief, and impossible to think about what that "anything you might need" could be.
4. Sometimes just being present is enough. You do not need to offer solutions, explanations, suggestions or even comforting words. Sitting quietly together and being willing to listen is all you have to do.

Welcome to the Blogging from A-Z April Challenge 2013. I'm aiming for short, entertaining and occasionally insightful posts. Topics addressing transitions are the goal . . . but we'll see.

Image: Vlado/freedigitalphotos.net