The first question is, how did these babies get to be grown-ups so quickly? The second question is, how do you stop being Mommy? The third question is how do you stop viewing them as children and see and treat them like the adults they are? I know several moms with young adult children struggling with the same issues I struggle with.
You think that if you've done your parenting job correctly, your children will be mature, capable people ready to take on the world. The reality is, life throws curves at all of us. There are students who decide to change their college majors, tough classes and some failing grades that slow things down, changing colleges and credits that don't transfer, unplanned pregnancies, young people who don't want to go to college and aren't sure what to do next, student loans that need to be paid back, bad economies and a tough job market and a dozen other dilemmas.
And sometimes you see your children making decisions you just don't think are wise, but what do you say and how much do you say? The one thing we parents of adult children have in common is that we all want the best for our kids. We hope for them to be happy, successful in whatever way they define success, and for those of us who are Christians, we hope for our children to love God and live their lives for Him.
I keep trying to remember, how did I feel at their age?
I remember thinking I was more than capable of making my own decisions, but I grew up in a much less stable home than they did and had to grow up pretty quickly so my story is different. But, really, when I second guess their choices and think about how I might do things differently, I am being unfair to them. I am treating them like children instead of adults, and that is insulting and disrespectful toward them.
Whether they continue to live at home for a while, which they all currently are, or soon head out in other directions to pursue the path God has laid out for them, I will continue to enjoy their company, glean from their wisdom and insights, love them, encourage them, pray for them and try to keep my mouth shut.
Welcome to Day 1, Letter A of the Blogging From A to Z Challenge, hope you'll stay tuned all the way through to Letter Z.