What's Time Worth?

I said, "Adios," a couple of weeks ago to a part-part-time job I held for six years.  Part-part was not a typing error.  I shared the job with two other women and we rotated the job among us every three months, one month on, two months off.

That doesn't make sense, you might think, knowing that I am actually planning on working more now that #3 son will be graduating homeschool next week and be off to college soon.

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The reason for my unplanned and somewhat impetuous resignation was due to time. The job description was recently and drastically changed with increased hours and responsibilities, but no increase in wages.

Not a big issue when the job was only a few hours a week and I viewed it as a way to earn a little extra cash, but suddenly a very big deal when I was now required to re-apply for the job, fill out a multi-page employment application, find a notary to witness something (I don't know what, I didn't read that far), jump through some other hoops (nine in all) and take a drug test.  A drug test?  For a part-part-time job I accomplish in my home?  That I have already performed for six years?  And I am expected to do all this on my own time without being paid?

That's why I said I quit because of time.

What value does your time have to you?

I realized that this job was not one I particularly enjoyed nor was it in line with some tentative goals I have.  Realistically, the time it would take to accomplish the work would be better used working toward long-term plans.

Even though this means a loss of income for a while, I think using my time to take steps to achieve other ambitions is worth it to me.

With every decision we make, we need to count the cost not only in terms of time and money, but satisfaction, peace of mind and fulfillment.  So, what is your time worth to you?

Auntie Mame Says it Best - Open a New Window, Open a New Door

Welcome to Five Minute Friday, the word for today is Opportunity.

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What an exciting word filled with unimaginable things.  Opportunity speaks of promise, challenge and newness.  Opportunity means fresh beginnings,  never before dreamed of, well, opportunities.

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Maybe because one major part of my life is ending, homeschooling, and all of my kids grown, I view the word opportunity with anticipation.  What will happen next?  What wonderful newness will occur as the Lord moves me from where I've been to where I'm supposed to be next?

I am overwhelmed with gratitude for a husband who encourages me to explore and try to discover what is to come with an open-hearted happiness for me.  I have been given the freedom to look and dream and imagine and explore because of his goodness and kindness.

I am Transitional-Woman, what opportunities are waiting for me?

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments.

Is There a Place at the Table for Me?

When I started reading blogs,  it seemed like they were mainly written by 20- and 30-something year old women.  They were interesting, but I’m past the stage of raising young children, struggling over the problems that the first decade of marriage brings and feeling concern over the loss of identity because of transitioning from professional woman into a SAHM.

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Then I began blogging and tried (and still am trying) to determine who I was going to be as a blogger and what I could bring to the table that would be of value.  I was searching for a community to belong to.

Frustrated, I wondered if there was a place for me.  Was there anyone out there  who read blogs that weren’t about raising children, politics, crafts, travel or cooking?  I enjoyed those blogs too, but I was striving to find my place at the table and find people who could be blessed and helped by what I had to say and were willing to engage in a dialogue.

Transitional-Woman has gone through four phases as I’ve slogged, skipped and slithered along the blogging road.  From a personal blog about my transitions, to a blog about mid-life transitions, to a blog exploring  life transitions experienced by people of all ages and to its current phase as a blog about not only physical life transitions, but transitions of the heart, soul and spirit.


I am slowly finding a community. 


And while I don't want to only read blogs by people with interests exactly like mine, in my stage of life and near my age (I mean, how boring is that?) it's great to discover there are other bloggers I can identify with.  There are also people of many ages I think I can bless and help with my writing.  And there are people out there willing to share the benefit of their experience.  Slowly, we are finding each other.


Happily, I discovered in the last couple of months that there is a place at the table for me.  So, where's dessert? 

Blazing a New Trail

Today, Heidi from Heidi'sbooks and I are having a blog swap.  She shares some of her thoughts about a transition she's approaching on Transitional-Woman, and I'm reviewing The Chosen on her blog.

Last year I read an article in Forbes Magazine listing the top women executives. It was a fascinating article showing where each woman worked, how much money she made, and what assets she controlled. It also told each woman’s age. All of them were in the 48-60 age group.

I’m approaching that age group and also headed for a major transition in life. How is it that you can work yourself out of a job in 20 years? You see, I’ve homeschooled for 18 years, organized co-ops, lead 4H groups, planned community service projects, lead support groups, edited newsletters, etc. In a few short years all my students will have graduated, and I will face the empty nest (sort of)—and in the process lose my full time job.

When I think of all the possibilities, I get giddy with excitement.

As I look around my church at what the other ladies in my age group are doing, I realize that most of them are working full-time jobs. Most are doing jobs they enjoy. Some work long hours, commute, and arrive home late at night. Saturdays are filled with laundry and catching up on everything that gets pushed aside during the week. Kudos to them. They work hard, and are salt and light in their workplaces. But they have relatively little time for community outreach, ministry, or helping others in the church.

What if I chose a different path? What if I used all my past experience to work for the church and community just like the business woman moves up the corporate ladder? I could continue down the same path moving into an expanded position. What if a group of the first wave of homeschool-mom-retirees put their experience to work in the community and church? That’s a tour de force volunteer army. I think we could see a fundamental shift in our society.

What needs are not getting met in our communities? How many elderly have visitors at the nursing home? I don’t even know most of my neighbors, and church visitation has become a thing of the past. How are the older women teaching or helping the younger women? There are so many needs and people are going it alone. Maybe it’s time to bring back that sense of community.

I would like to wear a business suit and carry a briefcase, but maybe it’s time to blaze a new trail.

Heidi from Heidi'sbooks is a homeschool mom with five children who loves reading and talking about books.  For the past few months, she's been diving into the great Russian authors.  Whew!

How do You See the World?

Welcome to 5 Minute Friday.  Today's word - Perspective

For me the word perspective is inextricably tied to world view.  One's perspective about most things is connected to how they view the world.  If you're an avid environmentalist, how you view political decisions, news items and the conversation of others will all be evaluated based on your views on environmentalism.

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I became a Christian when I was 24, so I feel like I possess two world views:  one from before I became a believer and my current view since believing.  But that doesn't mean my perspective has remained stagnant since believing in Christ as my Savior.  World view is one's framework, personal experiences and learning fill in the picture.

Growing and maturing further changes one's perspective.  We learn, we meet more people, we think more deeply as our life marches on and all of this new input adds to our knowledge and alters how we see things.
 
I know that I prefer the person I became after joining the family of God.  The Spirit of God works within me, refining me and teaching me, expanding my perspective and helping me to understand, love and accept others more than in the past.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments.

Life skills, According to Mama

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One portion of my brain is always focused on my youngest son's  transition  to college in August.  A reoccurring, panicky thought I have is, has he acquired all the basic life skills he needs?  Can he survive without me telling him what to do?

When my kids were young I kept telling them, "You better learn this.  I'm not going to college with you, you know." (One of my sons told me recently that he was always confused by that because he didn't even know what college was.  As you can see, I was planning their academic careers well in advance.)   So even though I was aware my four chicks would leave the nest someday,  I started to worry that I forgot to teach my son something important.

I thought I'd better sit down and make a list of skills I think are essential for college survival and beyond.  Then make sure he has mastered them.

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1. Laundry (how to do it)
2. Laundry (actually doing it)
3. Nutritious meals (these are not comprised of pizza and tacos)
4. Keep track of spending and reconcile a bank statement (more must come in than goes out)
5. Sleep (five hours a night are not enough)
6. Pass a class  (includes more than just studying for the final)
7. Communication (call your mother occasionally)
8. Friends (Proverbs 2:12-15, Wisdom will save you from the ways of wicked men, from men whose words are perverse, who leave the straight paths to walk in dark ways, who delight in doing wrong and rejoice in the perverseness of evil, whose paths are crooked and who are devious in their ways.)
9. Cleaning (find roommates who are neater than you)
10. Balance (make a realistic schedule including classes, studying, work, activities and other commitments)
11. Exercise (oh right, you'll be in the marching band playing a tuba, that probably covers it)
12. Faith (find a good church and plug in, pray, read your Bible)

Somehow, this is all I can think of and I'm afraid I've left off some important skills.  But, he'll learn and figure things out on his own and he can always call Mama.

The Messenger - A Transitional Woman

What do you do when your entire world has turned upside down and what you used to believe no longer seems right?

Hannah Sunderland in The Messenger is a Quaker living in British-occupied Philadelphia during the American Revolution.  Quakers do not fight in wars or take sides.  Her twin brother took sides and is now sick and starving in prison.

Hannah struggles with a life that is in transition: disobeying her parents and church, reconciling her views of slavery while living in a slave-owner's home, becoming enmeshed in a growing web of deceptions and much more.

In the midst of the confusion is Jeremiah, damaged in body and spirit, consumed by long-held hatred and revenge who becomes her partner in a dangerous undertaking of spying and lies.  Lies that Hannah refuses to tell and Jeremiah feels are her only recourse to avoid being hanged.

The book is written in an alternating chapter style with Hannah narrating one chapter and Jeremiah narrating the next, each sharing their thoughts, fears and experiences.  We see their internal battle to discover the truth about themselves and what they value and believe.

I was pulled into the story immediately.  The main characters are three dimensional and complex.  There are no easy answers to some of the dilemmas in which they find themselves and the author does not provide simple solutions or even resolve all of the situations.  This made the story real, believable and thought provoking.

Although the main characters are fictional, others are taken from the pages of history and some of the events that Hannah and Jeremiah are a part of are also part of the historical record.  It is people who make history.  What they do and why they do it is endlessly fascinating.

If you would like to read The Messenger, it is available as a free Kindle download on Monday, May 14.


The Messenger by Siri Mitchell
Bethany House Publishers, 2012
Historical fiction, 374 pages

Bethany House Publishers provided a free copy of The Messenger for review.  The opinions stated are my own.

Who Are You?

Welcome to 5 Minute Friday hosted by The Gypsy Mama.  Today's word is Identity.

"If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation.  The old is gone, the new has come."  My identity changed when I became a believer at 24.  I was a new woman, a different kind of woman.  It just took a while.

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In Christ,
I am chosen
beloved
part of a large, diverse family
a daughter
a new creation.

I'm not a prisoner to sin anymore.
I am forgiven.
I am renewed.
I am washed clean.

I am not perfect.  I am not sinless.  I am forgiven.

I am a new person every day.  I am given a fresh start with every sunrise.  I don't have to live in or wallow in the mistakes and heartaches of the past
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Because God says His mercies are new every morning, I am renewed every morning, me, this woman who was given a new identity.

1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking
2. Link back here and invite others to join in.
3. Please visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments.

If You Repeat a Lie Often Enough ...

I'm afraid that middle-aged people are liars.  I've recently (very recently) arrived at this juncture and discovered that this whole life stage is cloaked in lies, deceptions and delusions.

Middle-aged people, from hereon to be referred to as MAP, speak lie after lie probably working under the belief that if you repeat a lie often enough everyone will start to believe it is true.  These are some of the statements MAP have talked others into believing.

• These are the best years of your life.  - Why?  My body is falling apart, I can't remember what you said five minutes ago and no one calls me "Miss" anymore.
• Your kids can take care of themselves and you don't have to worry about them anymore.  - HA.
• You can embark on a whole new career.  - Who's going to pay the mortgage while I'm embarking?
• Fifty is the new 30.  - You have got to be joking.  I don't look or feel anything like I did when I was 30.  And things haven't changed for the better.
• As a MAP, you have gained so much life experience and are so much wiser now than you were when you were younger.  - If that's true, why do I keep making the same stupid mistakes?
• You don't care what other people think about you  anymore.  - Then why do so many MAP get plastic surgery?  Why does it take me more time than it used to applying make up?  Why do I bother going to the gym?  Am I really doing all of this just for me?

In case you're wondering what age bracket actually constitutes middle age, I heard on talk radio today that this group includes people from 45 through 64 years old.  

Okay, so I lied when I said very recently.  

Breaking Up is Hard To Do

A special Reflections Post on the Blogging From A to Z Challenge April 2012

It was like falling violently in love and being dumped abruptly in the same month. The rush, the wonder, the excitement, dreaming about what to write, composing a masterful post, publishing it on time, reveling in the comments. So satisfying, so fulfilling.  Then ... it was over.

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What do I do?  I've forgotten how to write without a letter of the alphabet to guide my thinking.  Who am I?  What is my blog usually about anyway?  Where do I go from here?  I feel so lost, so alone, so abandoned, so used.

The newness of the relationship was so exhilarating. The adrenaline rush, unmatchable.  Fresh, new, unknown blogs to read, 1,700 from which to choose.  I was giddy from the possibilities.

But like any new relationship  I eventually discovered little quirks that displeased,  me such as private blogs (how do you expect me to read you?), word verification (I can't always understand you), content which was sometimes offensive (all I wanted was a pure, beautiful relationship), the inability to leave comments (how can we get to know each other if we don't communicate?), very long posts (it's true, I was guilty of this too, my darling).

Despite the abrupt end to our wild and stimulating relationship, I gained so much.  You opened up a whole new world for me.  I met so many new people, many of whom I hope will still be my friends even though you and I are no longer together.

New opportunities, such an unexpected boon.  Because of you I will be reviewing books on my blog.  I'm thrilled to read different books and now I can review them so that the world will know them too.  Would this have happened without you?  I don't know, but you have opened up my world.

What would I change about you if I could?  Oh my beloved, I didn't want you to sell me things.  I turned away from you when I recognized your motive.  I wanted a love affair not a sales meeting.  That made me feel so used, so defiled.

And, my beloved, though it was so addictive being with you everyday, I realized that I couldn't let you consume me anymore.  There is a whole life still to be lived away from the keyboard, away from the alphabet, away from you.  But, maybe we can meet again next year?

(Want to read some of the other blogs in the Challenge?  Click here.)

Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing

My mind usually has a song going through it.  I would like to say it's the soundtrack of my life, but I hope not because one of the songs that frequents my brain is, I Shot the Sheriff.

When the song, Ain't Nothing Like the Real Thing, popped into my head I began considering what it was about, and that was love of course, since that's the theme of so many pop songs old and new.

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Then I was struck by the idea of real also meaning genuine and I how I have begun seek what is genuine.  I want genuine friends, a genuine walk with God, genuine relationships.

I'm tired of the superficiality of so many interactions in my life.  I would like to strike the word "Fine," from my vocabulary.  I would like to finally and completely turn my self over to my God with a sincere heart.   I would like to know what is genuinely troubling my family, my friends....


Out of time again.

Welcome to Five Minute Friday when we spend five minutes writing about the word prompt presented by The Gypsy Mama without editing or over thinking.
Please link back here to share what you've written, visit the person who linked before you, leave an encouraging comment and invite others to join in.

Learning Communities

I have explored the concept of community before, but I can’t seem to get if off of my mind because examples of what community is, how it works and what it means to various people keep popping up everywhere.

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As my youngest son plows his way through reams of virtual paperwork while working through the college admission process, community rises up again.  His university requires students to become part of a Learning Community.  The school is trying to match up freshmen with similar academic interests, enable them to live near each other and meld them into support groups.

It makes a lot of sense.  Some students don’t know how to handle the sudden freedom from parental oversight, but others can.  Some have no clue how to manage their time or money without mom and dad masterminding the schedule and finances, but others are very adept at it.  Some are very introverted and don’t know how to reach out to strangers and make friends, but others make a new friend every day.  The students are there to help and support each other.  I don't imagine the students in the communities will all become instant and intimate friends, but this university is trying to make sure no one feels isolated and alone.

I don’t know when they initiated Learning Communities, but it sounds like a wise decision particularly in light of the shooting at Virginia Tech in 2007 and other college shootings that have taken place since then.

If no student is allowed to be an island, if they are required to meet with their communities regularly, perhaps troubled young people can be discovered and helped before another tragedy occurs.

So, here’s another example of community.  I suspect I will continue to explore the subject as I continue to look for new communities of my own since my place in the mommy and homeschooling communities is ending. 

And if he lets me, I’ll also share some of my son’s new experiences of community as he transitions into a college student.